When I was but a young lad, my momma dropped me on my head.
I still feel the effects today.
When I was slightly older, I was possessed by 5 demons at once.
A few years later, Mike Tyson bit off my ear.
When I was 10, I was put in the hospital for guacamole poisoning.
By 11, I was in an asylum for the attempted assassination of my doctor.
Last year, I was attacked by grammar teachers for saying i "spoke English good."
And yesterday, a priest punched me because, when informed that I was in complete denial of everything, I responded, "No, I'm not."

That's my life in a nutshell; a peanut shell to be specific.