Yourcathatesme

Hi. I'm Evan. When I was just a little girl my parents had my horns surgically removed and sent me to boarding school in Scotland to learn the ways of bagpipe-playing. While I was there, I became a dude somehow, and then made a world-champion haggis for Hillary Clinton, who then proceeded to drop-kick me to Hell, of which I became ruler. However, I was fired from that job due to embezzlement, leading me here. And that's my life story.

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