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About Certified Asshole™ A+

CertifiedAsshole.com

Created by

xtrophyx70001

Latest Activity

May 15, 2011

Date Joined

Sep 6, 2009

About this user

Certified Asshole™

Certified Asshole.Com is not for just any old asshole, it was created for Assholes who can prove they are Assholes. Are you a certifiable asshole?

Get Certified Now in just a few minutes by taking our online asshole test. Once you have completed the exam we will certify you as one of the 5 basic types of asshole( or a "normal person"). You will then be placed into our Certified Asshole database at the correct level. When you are done you can proudly tell the world that you have been Certified at Certified Asshole.Com

As a Certified Asshole you will have access to our exclusive members area where you can acquire our trademark Certified Asshole gear. Unique Certified Asshole Hats, T-Shirts, Golf Shirts, and Jackets that are available only to Official Certified Assholes. You can also get your own email address like yourname@certifiedasshole.com or yourname@certifiedahole.com.

With all this the world will know for a fact that they are dealing with a REAL CERTIFIED ASSHOLE.
So you want to know how you can become an Asshole.

Are you an idiot? Did you really think that you can choose to be an asshole? A person can not just decide to be an asshole. Being a true asshole is a combination of genetic constructs and years of environmental influences. Trust me it doesn't just happen overnight, many of us have been honing our asshole skills for our entire lives.

There are some assholes who go through a majority of their lives hiding or denying the fact that they are assholes. They may have hidden their asshole tendencies for years, trying to be "Normal". The ones who repress their natural asshole instincts are never truly happy, they go through their lives with something missing, and feel that they can't discuss this with their family and friends for fear of reprisals. To those people we say, LET IT OUT! Let the whole world see that your an asshole. It's very liberating, once you embrace your assholiness you don't care about others and what they think. So for your own well being, which is all that really matters to assholes, acknowledge that you are an asshole and quit trying to be something that your not.

It is possible for someone to become an asshole later in life. Have you known someone that seemed to be a nice guy then as time went by you found he was becoming an asshole? This is rare, but it can happen. They may have been born with all the correct genetic markers for being an asshole, however, due to improper environmental conditions their asshole tendencies didn't develop correctly. A change of environmental conditions later in life can cause their asshole instincts to be released and they are finally set free to become the best asshole they can be.

Assholes of the world unite!

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United States

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The five basic types of Asshole.

Many people believe that there is just one class of Asshole in the world. The truth is that there are infinate levels of Asshole. The problem is that the majority of people are just not skilled enough to recognize the different levels. CertifiedAsshole.com helps to simplify the process of classification. Our testing process will break down the types of asshole into the 5 most basic levels of Asshole.
Level

Type of Asshole

Descripton
1

Grand Master Asshole
To be classified as a Grand Master Asshole means you have taken your Asshole skills to a Zen like level. You are completely at peace with the fact that you are, and that everyone who meets you knows that your are, an Exceptional Asshole. Only those Assholes who are pure enough to get a perfect score on the exam are classified at this level.
2

Master Asshole
If you are classified in this level then you have learned to utilize your skills on a level that many Assholes will never reach. You are indeed a special type of Asshole.
3

Asshole
This is the most common level of ability for the majority of Assholes in the world. This is a perfectly acceptable level of Assholiness, and you should be very proud of your Asshole skillset and the Asshole accomplishments in your life.
4

Asshole in training
A person classified at this level possesses the most rudimentary Asshole skills, but their instincts are not yet refined enough to properly apply the skills. Once you have achieved this level you are well on your way to a rewarding life as an Asshole.
5

Aspiring Asshole
This is the most basic level. People classified at this level are just beginning to realize that they have Asshole capabilities and need to explore their Asshole tendancies further to be sure that they will truley be happy being an Asshole

These are the most basic levels of Asshole, and you may not agree with the way that we choose to classify you, but guess what? Your classification is determined by our methods and our idea of what an Asshole is, and as Assholes ourselves all we can say is, tough shit! you are welcome to take the test over and get reclassified if you feel that you can do better the next time around. Our objective here is to Certify Assholes and try to show the world that it takes a special type of person to be a REAL ASSHOLE!