I'm dying on the inside and I still feel pain...offline
sweetiepie1088
Joined: May 14, 2007
Last Sign In: 5 days ago
Videos Watched: 5,423
Subscribers: 127
Channel Views: 21,124
my bf/lover/sweetheart/husband Liberatorreborn- I love u Vic..he has my heart and my love. He's very special to me and he's my best friend. I'm glad I found u and thank u for making me happy.
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I'm sweet,nice and caring person until u piss me off : ). I love laughing and being silly. Randomness is the most awesome thing and being weird is too *smiles*. My b-day is Oct.6 and I'm 5'9 yay me *hugs myself*.If you need a hug i'm here just say the word.
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my daughter-Cjhan092- *smiles* waiting to hug u
my son-mastermajor119-omg!! he's so awesome
my silly sis-gohankat20- she's a nice person whom I adore ^_^ and she makes me laugh..kudos lol
my sweet sis-marronluver-*squeals* i will always have her back
my #1 sis-katie!!..miss u
my lil sis-mustlovedogs14-hey carebear
my awesome sis- SesshomarusRin1994- yes she awesome she just doent know it yet
my #1- bro-sluggers33- well umm he's #1
my blood bro-eo8man-my real life bro
Name: Rachel AKA ChiChi
Age: 19
R: good bf or gf
A: hot
C: good kisser
H: easy to fall in love with
E: has gorgeous eyes
L: smile to die for
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Yes i wrote these..read'em if u want
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To be broken means
To be incomplete
To be incomplete
Means I'm lacking
To be lacking means
Pieces are missing
And if pieces are missing
I'm not whole
Which brings me
Back to broken
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Being missed but not being wanted
Being loved but not being needed
Saying you love me but you really don't
Saying you wont leave but you go anyway
Wanting to hold me but I slip away
Wanting to be everything but nothing
Believing you care and not caring at all
Wishing you could have stayed with me
And wanting you here with me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pain isn't the only thing I feel
Hurt and unwanted is the beginning
Sad and broken I'm that too
Torn to pieces and missing my heart
Still doesn't describe how I feel
You love me right but couldn't I see it
Crying cause I didn't know
How much I need you
How much I still need you
And you will never understand
What you do to me and
How much I want you
Sorry it took this long
Hurting more cause I just realized
Miserable cause I feel like I'm losing you
And I don't want to
So tell me, tell me you still love me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Falling
I'm falling into the unknown
Seeing
I'm seeing nothing but darkness
Feeling
I'm feeling so empty and scared
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Empty and so hollow
Gone and missing you
Lonely and so deserted
Pained and hurt by you
Sad and so disappointed
But I still love you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dying on the inside but able to feel pain
Empty and hollow holding on to nothing
Because no one is holding on to me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My hurt is so deep it never end
My pain is so real I want to die
My life seems so pointless why try
My end is one step away
And knowing you don't care
There is no reason to stop
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wandered down this road before.
Getting wrapped in what people say.
Getting lost in my own pain.
Pushing you away from me.
Letting the calamity in.
I screamed and shouted.
Can't you see me breaking.
Can't you see me hurting
Falling apart while needing you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Standing still
It's what I am
Slowly moving
I once was
Falling forward
Would be something
Frozen Inside
is nothing new
Bleeding out
I know that too
Alone
Just Alone
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't want to be here
I cant stand here
Breathing is hard here
Loving is hard here
I wish I could get there
I can hope there
See and care there
I can trust you there
Because you are there
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
where did you go
when i needed u the most
where did you go
was it to run and hide
where did u go
i can't feel you
where did u go
i can't see you
where did u go
was i never enough
where did u go
i couldn't keep you
where did u go
these tears won't stop
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i need you here
to breath
i need you here
when i have nothing left
i need you here
when i reach the end
i need you here
when there nothing there
i need you here
inside of me
i need you here
illuminating me
i need you here
i need you here
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Standing in this place
having nothing in it's space
my heart has flown
having nothing of it's own
it's run away
and pain stays day after day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
nothing
empty
lost
nothing is here
empty i will be
lost my should never free
nothing
empty
lost
nothing everywhere
empty i can't bare
lost being there
nothing
empty
lost
nothing is what is
empty believe this
lost with no moment of bliss
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
if the heart holds all
what will happen when i fall
if i lose my way
what will come day to day
if i hold back my tears
what will happen through the years
if i keep everything within
what will be my end
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke to find you gone
I woke and realized I was alone
I closed my eyes wishing for you
I closed my eyes wishing this to be true
For you to come back to me
For you to be with me
I stand knowing when I fall
I stand knowing you will never call
I try to breathe but I find no air
i try to breathe and find you not there
I take these steps but I cant find my place
I take these steps wanting to see you face
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking back at you it's hard to believe
That one day you will leave
I know you never meant to break your promise to me
I know you never meant to cause hurt in me
But here I am broken in two
Because I'm not with you
You said everything will be okay
But how can it be when pain seems to stay
It has become my friend
Here at the every end
I look down and think of you
Taking one last breath so I can be with you
Country: United States
Occupation: To make this world go round with love and laughter
Companies: Making u smile
Interests and Hobbies: I love anime and I write, I love to shoot ppl and blow things up lol (i mean in the games ppl) beating them up too : ). Let me see I like the computer lol..chillin' and doing nothing thats so awesome lol
Movies and Shows: Inuyasha, Blood +, G-Gundam, Gundam Seed, Death Note, Naruto, Naruto Shippuuden, Dragonball, Dragonball Z and Gt, Fruit Basket, Ouran High School Host Club, Gungrave, Euerka, Kanon 2006 and some many more. Movies: Lord Of The Rings, Pirates Of The Caribbean, Spiderman Trioloies. Die Hard Movies, Batman Movies,Disney Movies. black and white movies like the blob and creature from the black lagoon, the fly. TV shows: the grim adventures of billy and mandy, courage the cowardly dog, the office, one tree hill, brothers and sisters. the real world, spongebob(hate the newer seasons)
Music: I'm eclectic (means I like more than one style or variety) when it comes to music
Books: Twilight, New Moon, Eclispe, The Truth About Forever, Just Listen, Speak, BitterSweet, Blood and Chocolate, The Silver Kiss, the Looking Glass Wars Triology by Frank Beddor. Born In triology by Nora Roberts, The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare
Website: http://www.chatzy.com/506851045481
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Channel Comments (8618)
mastermajor119 (11 hours ago)
*sighs* i miss you alot mom =,( plz get on soon *waits for you* =(
toolovely1990 (1 day ago)
: (
Tayisonetoughchola (1 day ago)
hey
CJchan092 (4 days ago)
heya,mom! =( ur daughter misses u so mch! I cnt leave dat mch of comment coz I'm really busy!anyways,I'm still trying my best! I hope ur doing fine!hope 2 talk 2 ya soon! =(
Liberatorreborn (4 days ago)
hi...
punkgirl362 (5 days ago)
same w/ me.. i really miss him
66manlyman (5 days ago)
ok..niyt nite Rachel *hugz chu baq*
sleep tight =]
66manlyman (5 days ago)
haha..awesome!^_^
66manlyman (5 days ago)
oh wow..wat kind?
mastermajor119 (5 days ago)
*sighs* im sry mom but i g2g *kisses your fourhead* i love you so much mom =) *picks you up and takes you to bed* i no you are sleepy cause i red your bulliten* *puts you in your bed and pulls the covers over you* goodnight mom love ya. sweet dreams and goodnight
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