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1. Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.
2. Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar
3. Man Attempts To Assassinate Obama, 'But Not Because He's Black Or Anything'
4. Many U.S. Parents Outsourcing Child Care Overseas
5. Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee
6. Treasury Department Issues Emergency Recall Of All US Dollars