Unleashed in the east
Best dressed in the west
Sorted in the north
Without a doubt in the south
The kings of all kings
Lion of Juda
Phoenix from the ashes risen
Undefeated undisputed featherweight champion
on all five continents
World record holder with a high score of two gazillion in Tetris
Two-time recipient of the Nobel prize for super sexiet male ever
and war time consigliere to the Cosa Nostra
He split the storm, invented the x-ray, the cure for AIDS, and the surprise blindfold greeting
He performed and choreographed the fights for Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon
and Game of death and still does stunt doubles for Jackie Chan on the weekends
He suckerpunched Einstein, outsmarted Ali, and even outsuperfreaked Rick James
He's one founder and CEO of Smelling Dicks
The most decorated professional field operative in the industry
and in the streets
With a perfect track record since kindergarden where he used to
whoop schoolboy ass
He's listed in section 202 of the United Nations Security Act of 1979
as being too hot to wear tight sweaters on international airspace
In this world of tension pressure and pain
he is known by men and women of all origin and faith
for his wisdom, compassion, and relentless
determination in the quest to get paid