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Online Only - Ris Low: "Always a winner..."
Letter from Raymond Anthony Fernando
Updated 08:30 PM Oct 05, 2009
Like many Singaporeans I have been following the reports involving Ris Low.

I am deeply saddened over the manner in which beauty queen Ris Low has been heavily criticised and condemned. No one is perfect and everyone of us will make mistakes in life. Ris Low is no different.

For a person who has struggled with a bipolar condition, otherwise known as maniac depression where sufferers experience extreme behaviour, Ris Low has done exceptional well in trying to turn her life around. Ris was determined to succeed, but she was not given a chance. Ms Low was brave enough to reveal that she had a bipolar condition. Not many people will talk about a mental condition because of the social stigma that is attached to mental illness.

The hurtful and insensitive remarks levelled at Ris Low is perhaps the price we pay for being an affluent society, where people who are better educated and richer believe they can put down a person.

What I find disturbing is this whole episode is that we appear to be breeding a society where people find it so hard to forgive. Emails and the Internet are being used by some netizens for all the wrong reasons.

Ex-prisoners can revert to crimes if society does not accept them. Ris Low was not given a chance when a conviction for a credit card fraud came to light. So, rather than put her down, can't we help Ris rebuild her life bearing in mind what Oprah Winfrey once said: "Lots of people want to ride with you in the Limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the Limo breaks down."

Together, let us rally around Ris and give her the opportunity to redeem herself. For a start, I urge companies to sponsor Ris for diction and public speaking courses and even writing courses so that she will be well positioned to make a sterling comeback.

I have struggled with depression for several years and my wife is recovering from the dreaded schizophrenia. But through the wonderful support of many kind-hearted people who walk alongside us, we have charted new directions in life and found our means of living through writing.

Someday, Ris, write your own novel and speak of your own struggles in life. Equipped with good public speaking and writing skills, you too will be able to chart new directions in life. Who knows, your book might just become a bestseller. Above all, Ris don't ever give up. Instead, reflect on the wisdom of what former US President Richard Nixon once said: "A man is not finished when he is defeated. He is finished when he quits."

You may have lost the Miss Singapore crown, Ris, but you will always be a winner in my eyes. And as we celebrate World Mental Health Day on Oct 10, let us spare a thought for those who are facing challenges in life's journey.

http://www.todayonline.com/Voices/EDC091005-0000197/Onlin...,,, (less info)