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Jacob Landis-Eigsti

Ode to a 90's Kid-Sergeant Beatmaster

3,823 views 7 months ago
Sergeant Beatmaster presents a blast from the past: a rap song about how amazing it was to grow up in the 90's. What 90's references did I miss? What was your favorite thing from the 90's? Sound off in the comments below.

Yo, it aint easy being king
Bullcut whassup, decked out my best bling
Ninja turtle lunchbox, rockin the bucket hat.
Backpack packed up with all the best fruit snacks
Closet full of ty dy denim jackets and flannel
Watching seinfield and rugrats don't you dare change the channel
You know I got the nicest stack of pokemon cards, bout to open a can of whoop ass Cause I just got charizard
Digimon collection maxed out with the dopest shit
Look out this game just got holographic
Piss me off and you know I'm as scary as the trunchbull, when lunch rolls around I bust out the lunchables
Got the nicest beanie baby collection on the west side,
Finest razor scooters are the only way that I ride
You afraid of the dark goosebumps make you wanna hurl?
I'm hitting home runs you playing ball like a girl
I bet you watch Barney aint that super dee duper
You got a Nintendo, yeah I just got a super
I double dog dare you to mess with me
You got Doritos, nice kid, mine are 3D
I'm rocking the overalls, and I know the macarena dance
You got the gameboy, cool! I just got the advance
when it comes to Mariokart, I'm the best that's ever lived
And I write some damn legible cursive
Just got a sick set of star wars legos,
guess who I just found,
yeah carmen san diego
Here is the church and here is the steeple,
you mess with me again
and you know I'll see dead people
Can beat mario
without a single warpwhistle
was the only kid ever to beat legends of the hidden temple
VHS Collection Maxed out
Bust all the snacks out
Girls snuggle with me in my beanbag till we pass out
Take you down in golden eye you piece of shit I never miss,
my name must be MC Hammer
Cause you can't touch this
Boy you suck ever more than kirby
I'm too sexy for my shirt
You're creepy like furby
Seduce more women than Bill Clinton
Tried not to play with girls hearts
But oops i did it again
I'm king of the world
Move faster than neo
You'll die hard if you fight me
You'll sink faster than leo
Hey girl my family just got dial up
When I'm on AIM you should hit me up
Love your Lisa Frank notebook and the scrunchies in your hair
Girl you looking so fresh you must be from bellaire
Hey babe just like ET I'd
Love to phone your home your home
Two of us should spend some
Time home alone
Like walker texas ranger I'll protect you from danger
You know you're even sexier than the pink powerranger
Must be in Jumanji cause down there it's a monsoon
You look like lara croft and I'd love to raid your tomb
I spy a hottie looking naughty with a great body
Honey you shrunk my pants you embody
Beauty, I'll be your beast, but you know I'm the
Artist formerly known as prince underneath
I can show you the world and my badass pog collection
We both know saved by the bell was perfection
I care for you
more than Doug cared for Patty
I'll make you a phat mixtape, yeah who's your daddy?
Hey let's continue the circle of life
I'll be Michael Keatons batman
You can be Michelle Pfieffer
Girl you sexier than jessica rabbit
I'll let you take care
of my gigapet
I'll call you buffy, don't you wanna slay me
Yeah baby you know i want it that way
I'll say hello nurse, just like the animaniacs
Love to Jump on it
cause baby you got back
If you wanna be my lover at my crib I'll give you pleasure
call me a goonie cause I'm looking for your treasure
In your windbreaker and ponytail you're looking so fly
I'll teach you so much biology you'll call me Bill Nye
Like Scrooge Mcduck, I'm loaded with cash
Let's predict our future by playing some mash
Everyone here put your drinks up
Everyone here put your Kool-Aid up
Everyone here put your tang up
If you know pluto's a planet put your drinks up
If Ms. Fizzle was the shizzle, put your drinks up
If Oregon Trail made school worth going to put your drinks up
If you know what it means to get slimed, put your drinks up
All the children of the 90's put your drinks up Show less
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