Hallo! I'm Josef Polygafer-Frankfurter! I am a German Mormon and I am by no means gay -- I lot of guys at the bar say I'm gay, but those fudging Nazis don't have 20 wives like I do! And 10,000 biological children! I am not gay, nobody is truly gay, and whoever does deserves to die -- let me rephrase that, my religion is peaceful and loving and according to the book of mormon they deserve to become Mormons like me and they will no longer be queers. If you are a negro become a Mormon and beg to Jesus for white skin and you will get it so then you will no longer be contaminated. I love my Aryan family, God, and Joseph Smith -- I was named after him! I am not a typical German guy -- I know that everything happened first in America. I know that rocks with indents always have some sort of secret meaning, and are written in some sort of Arabic language that only Joseph Smith or his reincarnation knows. My son Albertsch seems to be able to speak in some sort of language and everyone thinks it's some sort of Arabic language. This does not mean that he is a nigger or an Arab, it just means that he must the reincarnation of Joseph Smith. I hope that this is the case because if not I will be pissed and kill him and convince everyone that it was a suicide. He's bound to commit suicide because I rape him all the time, but that doesn't make me gay or unethical in fact I never did rape him I would never ever do that because it's not in the book of Mormon. Everyone who does that must ask for forgiveness and then they can go to heaven but they still won't anyway. I am a faggot, but I am not a faggot. I am also not a Jew or a negro but my parents are Jewish so they should die actually they shouldn't I love them but they will go to hell but they won't go to hell.

My life goal is to go to heaven and enjoy death waiting in line with a bunch of straight minded queers like me to see Jesus.

But I must fuck certain things in order for this special gift to be unlocked! Here's the list of things I must fuck (for Jesus and Joseph Smith)
(1. Blond crack users.
(2. Black gang members.
(3. Victoria's secret employees.
(4. Safeway stores.
(5. Hookers on craigslist.
(6. Ukrainian Synagogues
(7. Purple and pink helmets.
(8. Republican politicians.


Of course, despite these requirements to live, I have many goals in life. Even though I am from a world known as BEERDEDOYSTER, I want to happy just like every other pathetic earthling. My first life goal is to become a princess. My second is to kill Madonna. And my third is to have sex with everything, especially young religious white boys, Michele Bachmann, a pink/purple person, and the Jerusalem temple.

And by the way, I will be reincarnated 192,292,2828,2929,2929,229,9292,9292,29292,92920,29292,44712476,6797101466,843726 more times.

I have been reincarnated 5 times, so this means that I am difficult to kill.

These are the locations in which I have been born after reincarnation:

(1. In your panties.
(2. On Glenn Beck's chalkboard.
(3. In Osama Bin Laden's ass.
(4. Within the weapon that killed your alcoholic father.
(5. Wherever the Jews are.

Remember, during my reincarnation, I am in all of these places all at once. I forgot to mention that you must always take off your panties on days you want to fuck your boyfriend. If not, I will be reincarnated inside your vagina permanently. I am currently in a vagina and it is impossible to get out. But I am starting to enjoy my life inside the vagina. It has a society of its own, and it's own globe. There are even Jews in here!