|
oldfolkiepad uploaded a new video
(3 weeks ago)
To my mind, one of the very best Jim Reeves songs. I've double-tracked this: in the background I'm playing a Yamaha EZ-AG electronic guitar in pian...
more
To my mind, one of the very best Jim Reeves songs. I've double-tracked this: in the background I'm playing a Yamaha EZ-AG electronic guitar in piano mode.
less
|
|
| |
|
|
oldfolkiepad uploaded a new video
(3 weeks ago)
A response to the challenge set by Mr ECLECTICIAN.
If I could walk on water
I might not drink so much coffee
Before I took my dog out
For our daily con...
more
A response to the challenge set by Mr ECLECTICIAN.
If I could walk on water
I might not drink so much coffee
Before I took my dog out
For our daily constitutional.
But though I guess I oughta,
Cos it might be better for me,
I'd not cut down on caffeine.
It isn't going to happen,
And I wouldn't really want to walk on water.
If I could walk on water
I'd not bother with a ferry
And bridges would be very
Little use to me at all.
And that would have upset my dad
Who built some very fine ones.
The Humber was the best;
I like to cross it when I can,
So I don't really want to walk on water.
"If I could walk on water,"
Said the Queen to Walter Raleigh,
"Then you wouldn't have to spread
Your cloak to cover up that puddle
Cos I don't like getting wet;
That's why I bath just twice a year -
And only then if I need one --
Though I had to have one last week
After trying your potato:
Filthy, stinking thing,
It was utterly disgusting:
I'm never smoking one of those again."
If I could walk on water
I might well end up on telly
On some peak-time weekend freak-show
Watched by seven million people
Most of them would think
It was a trick and not a good one
Just some sort of an illusion
"Is that all that he does?" they'd say
And I wouldn't get their votes;
So I don't really want to walk on water.
If I could walk on water
I think I'd keep it secret
Cos if people knew about it
It might raise their expectations.
They might look to me for miracles:
Think I was an avatar
Sent to feed the starving,
Cure the sick and save the dying,
Wish I could... but no use dreaming.
And when at last they realised
The water thing was all that I could do,
Might they not turn against me,
Curse me as some charlatan?
So I don't ever want to walk on water.
less
|
|
| |
|
|
oldfolkiepad uploaded a new video
(1 month ago)
Who knows what new products might emerge from Apple's i-technology?
The iBrow (like a Kindle, but for the fine arts and classical literature);
The ...
more
Who knows what new products might emerge from Apple's i-technology?
The iBrow (like a Kindle, but for the fine arts and classical literature);
The iLash (an industrial model for export to countries like Iran and Saudi Arabia, and a HomeEdition for fans of S and M);
The iBawl (for generating crocodile tears) and
The iSocket (into which the aforementioned items can all be plugged.)
Here are a few more:
I, Pad, don't possess an iPhone;
Haven't got an iPad; what an irony!
I used to have an i-chair when I was just a baby
Now all I have is ITV.
If I truly loved technology
I'd keep an i- on every kind of gadget you can name:
An iPatch would be perfect for the puncture on my bicycle
And cutting things just out of reach could be done with an iSickle
If you're upper class and stupid but want to seem quite clever
The iTwit is the thing for you, the best invention ever
If you want to cut some timber, why not try the Apple store?
It may sound pretty ugly but there's nothing like an iSaw.
Eileen: forward, sexy, inviting;
She's a sweetie; she's iCandy.
She's from the iLove Man, she fulfils my every fantasy;
We love to do a double iFive, iTenning our ecstasy.
I met a pretty girl who was carrying an iScream;
I smiled, she pressed a button and the thing went "Weeeeeeeeoooo!"
So now I'm deep in trouble and I don't know what to do:
I can't think of a single thing that I can rhyme with "Weeeeeeeeoooo!"
There's a new inflatable on sale in the sex-shop
For the lonely sort of fellow who doesn't have a moll.
She has a funny stare but she's always clean and healthy;
Call in and ask for iGiene, the pop iDol.
I'd planned to stop for iTea in an internet café
When I got lost in Dudley and I couldn't find my way
There are only eighteen letters in the Black Country alphabet
So looking for a map I had to buy an iTo Z.
less
|
|
| |
|
|
oldfolkiepad uploaded a new video
(2 months ago)
Happy Christmas! Here's my attempt at a bit of festive fun.
Yelvertoft is a village in Northamptonshire just a couple of miles from Crick. The indi...
more
Happy Christmas! Here's my attempt at a bit of festive fun.
Yelvertoft is a village in Northamptonshire just a couple of miles from Crick. The individuals named in the song all regularly perform at Crick Folk Club - "Folk at the Oak".
When ITV rejected John's original idea
For "Help! I'm from Northampton; won't you get me out of here?"
He came up with another one, at first we laughed and scoffed:
A Christmas dinner-eating contest down in Yelvertoft.
"Sounds cool," a young lad said. "We'll do it: me and all my mates."
And then some old guys bellowed, "We'd clear twice as many plates!"
At this the young men laughed aloud and turned to Uncle John.
"Is that a challenge, sir?" they cried. "It is," said John. "You're on!"
CHORUS
Such forking, chomping, guzzling, you've never seen before;
Crunching, munching, slurping, burping; making room for more.
I never will forget the day, nor quite how much we scoffed
At the Christmas dinner eating contest down in Yelvertoft.
For all of us the challenge was to eat in half an hour
As many Christmas dinners as we thought we could devour.
First a bowl of soup, then turkey served with all the trimmings,
But no drink save the gravy, in which the food was swimming.
Sherry trifle, Christmas pudding, cheese and biscuits too;
Mince pies and then 'After Eights' must all be waded through.
And when our plates were empty, we well-filled gentlemen
Must pull a cracker, toast the Queen and do it all again.
Politically speaking, it was very incorrect:
No women were competing, but then what would you expect?
They cooked the food and served it while the men sat down and ate;
It really was delicious and the job they did was great.
Said Dave, "The herbs used in this stuffing truly are sublime;
There's just a hint of parsley, sage and rosemary and thyme."
"That rings a bell!" cried Bruce, who'd clean forgot why he was there,
And a capella sang to us the whole of "Scarborough Fair".
It soon was clear advantage rested with the younger men:
Ten minutes all they needed, before going round again.
We older guys were struggling still to finish all our sprouts
But Ross had planned a subterfuge to help us old boys out.
The youngsters all turned round to look when Ross yelled, "Phwooawr! She's nice!"
And the plates of food in front of us just vanished in a trice.
But it didn't really help us, for the judges were alert
To the fact we each had doggie-bags concealed beneath our shirts.
We old boys never stood a chance; we all had had enough
By the second plate of turkey; we were well and truly stuffed.
We all just sat there groaning with our trouser-tops undone
While the youngsters on their fourth round sat and gloated 'cause they'd won.
But how we old boys laughed, when we saw the young men's prize:
A huge container filled with twenty dozen fresh mince pies.
The lads looked disappointed when they saw what they had got,
But half an hour later they had polished off the lot!
©Paddy Wex, 2011
less
|
|
| |
|
|
oldfolkiepad uploaded a new video
(3 months ago)
Internships were once a good thing; cash-strapped companies that couldn't afford to take on new employees could at least offer job-seekers some wor...
more
Internships were once a good thing; cash-strapped companies that couldn't afford to take on new employees could at least offer job-seekers some work experience to help with their CVs. Sadly, it didn't take long for a number of much wealthier organisations, particularly in the fashion industry, to recognise an opportunity to cash in on the idea, and accounts of people doing exactly the same work, unpaid, as regular company employees for several weeks, and in some cases for months, are becoming increasingly commonplace. The government has expressed an intention to pursue the worst abusers but in the meantime some job-seekers are being told they will lose their £55 a week allowance if they refuse to accept intern placements.
If you're young and unemployed, then don't despair
You know there are an awful lot of intern posts, for which you can volunteer
Yes, heaps and heaps of internships, for which you can volunteer.
Become an intern: work from nine till five each day
And try not to be upset that there's no pay.
Become an intern; it's fun and all the rage
Never mind that you will not be paid a wage.
Just because you have to eat, don't think the minimum wage
Is something that you ought to be aspiring to yet, at such a tender age;
For you are still just learning, at such a tender age.
Don't start complaining; there is no need to moan;
Borrow from your dad and mum or live at home.
Think of the money rich companies will save!
Don't feel you are nothing better than a slave.
Oh how very philanthropic is that company
That happily will take on so much unpaid labour, training you all for free.
They call it 'work experience' euphemistically.
Their generosity is there to be enjoyed;
One day, maybe you'll be gainfully employed.
Then you'll thank the bosses for the chances that they gave
Fine young British men and women to be slaves.
Poor Britannia; Britain's ruled by knaves:
Bankers yanking on the strings of George and Dave.
Poor James Thomson: he'll be turning in his grave;
He thought Britons never never would be slaves.
Music by Thomas Arne (1710-1778); Lyrics ©Paddy Wex (2011), with apologies to James Thomson (1700-1748)
less
|
|
Jim
as for me, i don't write songs, i don't play a instrument and i can't carry a tune in a water bucket. i try to contribute to the musical community by getting this great talent out there where it can be seen and heard. i'll be seeing you around...al
i did get all of your messages...