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About Is it wrong to be strong? You be the Judge.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson

"If at first, the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it" ~ Albert Einstein

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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Created by

myhousefucksyouall16

Latest Activity

Jan 18, 2009

Date Joined

Jan 18, 2009

About this user

You can't spell Slaughter with out laughter.

"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world," Calvin.

"Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in the front?" Hobbes.

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

In weight lifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

A penny saved is ridiculous.

Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

I remmember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

"I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!" ~ Homer J. Simpson

"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."~Bill Cosby

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."~ Albert Einstein

"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough."~ Albert Einstein

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed."~ Albert Einstein

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Never drive through a small Southern town at 100mph with the local sheriff's drunken 16-year-old daughter on your lap.

A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation.

It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!

Its been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

"Operator! Give me the number for 911!" - Homer Simpson

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.

Constipated People Don't Give A Shit

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Age

Hometown

flucky fuck

Country

Kuwait

Occupation

like the bathroom?

Companies

like hotdogs?

Interests

Hmm, anything that is funny or has some hot girls in it, or people getting hurt, which is funny.

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