Why? Because he makes you happy. And people wonder why you put up
with all of his indecisive bullshit, but that's because they don't know that
every time you see him, you smile. They all wonder why, even though he
sometimes sends very strong 'i don't love you' signals, you still put yourself
out there completely, but they aren't the ones that stay up until four in the
morning every night rereading the texts he sends telling you he misses you,
and that you're amazing, and that you're cute, and everything else that
makes your heart flutter. They ask you why in the world you're still stuck
on him when it's been 10 months of absolutely nothing happening, but they
aren't the ones that cheese every time his name lights up on their phone,
or grin at every single smiley face he sends. And they don't have the hearts
that drop to their feet every time their phone buzzes. They aren't you, they
don't know you. I don't care if they are your best friend, and you have kept
them in the loop every step of the way, they don't feel what you feel. You
are the one missing his hugs. When you find yourself thinking, you're thinking
of him. It's you that lies in bed night after night imagining conversations
and scenarios that are never, ever going to happen, but would complete your
life if they did. It's all you. So, they will ask why you aren't over him, and
why he gives you butterflies, and why you talk to him as much as you do,
but guess what? You don't owe them an explanation. You aren't over him,
he does give you butterflies, and you do talk to him all of the time -- and you
love every single minute of it so screw them.

When you lose someone, someone you love, when they break your heart; it's
the hardest thing you could ever go through. And no matter how much time has
passed, it never really goes away. You may think you're getting better, but then
you get a flashback, or hear a song that reminds you of a memory, and it hits
you all over agian, all at once, like a stab in the chest. You fall apart, for the
hundredth time, and you feel like you just want to crawl under a rock and never
come out. You love this person with all of your heart, even though you know
you shouldn't. They hurt you worse than you've ever been hurt. They stole
your happiness but yet, you still want them, and only them. Other people
come along and give you chances to move on, but you know you don't want
to. It upsets you that you might be moving on, because you promised you
never would, and even if they broke all their promises, you want to keep
yours. On top of that, you're terrified. Terrified of getting hurt again.
But it's not like it matter anyway, at the end of the day you're still thinking
about the person who has left you completely broken. You don't want
to miss them anymore. You don't want to love them anymore, but you know
you always will.