"You live and learn. At any rate, you live."
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THE STORY OF THIS CHANNEL SO FAR:

Doug and Bob are metropolitan policemen with a difference. Doug likes nothing more than slipping into little cocktail frocks, while Bob bouffants his hair for a night on duty. Still, as they aren't on this channel, we won't give their last names.


THE REAL STORY OF THIS CHANNEL SO FAR:

Plucky Reginald Vas Deferens is a nuclear scientist in love with mafia boss Enrico Marx, who is himself married to Conchito Macbeth, a lively belly dancer at the Belgian disco whose manager, burly Ivan Crapp, has a naked daughter Janice engaged to J.J. Spinman, New York private detective, employed by elegant Laura Herron to trace the missing million-pound bidet that Hitler gave to Eva Braun as a bar mitzvah present during a state visit to Crufts, and which remained hidden until a World Cup referee, Horace Jenkinson, was found hanged in a New Jersey tenement with the plans of a Russian secret weapon partially tattooed on his elbow.

In Brisbane, the Brain brothers, Nicky and Vance, torture a Mayfair psychologist, who reveals to Dora Brain in a tender and emotional death scene that his hair is not his own.

Meanwhile, the Kent Touring Eleven have trapped husky Matilda Tritt on a sticky near Hastings, and she reveals all before enforcing the follow-on.
Peter Niesewand and Cyril Garfunkel arrive just in time with the Welsh Police and the Harry Orchestra, and proceed to sing a love song which allows Dr Indira McNorton just enough time to cross the Alps into Geneva, where
he meets Kon Rapp, a kung fu fanatic and cat lover, who frivolously shoots him, but not before introducing him to lively intelligent Norwegian widow Lanny Krimt, who shows him her inner thighs, where he finds the address of a good French restaurant, and unexpectedly meets Gabriello Machismo, an ex-Korean plastic surgeon whose frankly blond assistant Sally Lesbitt is now the half-brother of a distant cousin of Ray Vaughn Ding-Ding-a-Dong, the Eurovision song, and owner of the million-pound bidet given by Hitler to Eva Braun as a bar mitzvah present during a state visit to Crufts, and which remained hidden, etc. etc. etc.

This they now do.

Meanwhile, Harold and Victor Medway III discover a newfound love for each other in a flashback near Devon, where they meet up with Doug and Bob, the metropolitan policemen who suprisingly turn out to be on this channel after all, who kill everyone, and live happily ever after.


(All right, since I am not TheAtheistAntidote, I will freely, willingly even, admit that this is a text by Monty Python)


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For the zillionth time: even though my username contains the letters BNP, I'm in no way connected to the British Nutjob Party. I'm neither a racist nor a nationalist. For frak's sake, I'm not even British!
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I'm an agnostic atheist, a secularist, I feel free to think of myself as a freethinker, I'm low-carb, high-calorie, may contain traces of nuts, and I'm an actor looking for a job...
Although generally quite peaceful, I will kill you with my bare hands if you address me in the morning before I have had my coffee and cigarette - all right, I might not kill you, but I will let you feel the full range of my slight irritation (and deal with my consequential feelings of guilt afterwards).
I've been diagnosed with MDD, so if you'd like to pray for me, go ahead - but don't forget to sacrifice a heifer as well, and while you're at it, throw some kittens in the blender, just to be on the safe side...
In a nutshell: just some bloke...