"all my life i tried to be a really nice guy,but it's killing me"

i was thinking a lot this last while how it's a thin line between being a pleasant agreeable person or an utter phony....... trying to strike a balance between truthfulness and kindness can be tricky for a clumsy buggerluggs like me....there are many times when i've just opened my big mouth ,spoke what's on my mind and ended up in trouble.......also i realize now there's a certain amount of social/emotional blackmail going on in our daily lives....in the world of entertainment,its a hundred times worse...it's a case of ,"you say nice things about me,and i'll say nice things back about you"...this sort of thing fills me with the bleakest loneliness......and sometimes i think,what's the bloody point..... and then i end up in a mood, ripping friends and strangers a whole new asshole.
i don't want to just pay lip service to folk,but often i find myself feeling pressure to do exactly that,and it doesn't feel good.i want to be substantial more than i want to be popular or acceptable.

this video is me playing out the role of an overly enthusiastic game show host or cabaret singer, to get across the idea inside my new song .
i hope it's fun for you.

always
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