About this user
And now, a ridiculously long list of short sayings and phrases, quoted directly from the source. All credit goes to whoever made them up. Also, if anyone can help out with my list, that would be much appreciated.
1.In Canada, cats grow on trees.
2.Hitler doesn't like [insert item/person here], you don't wanna be like Hitler now do you?
3.92% of the teen population would be dead if Aberombie and Fitch decided that breathing wasn't cool!!Put this on your profile if you would be one of the 8% laughing hysterically in the background!!!
4.There are three kinds of people in this world: those who can count, and those who can't.
5.If it wasn't taught by a ninja, then its not worth learning.
6.Hey. I'm just a normal guy who has figured out the finer points of how to hide bodies in a small town ^^.
7.Yes, Naruto, Jesus was a ninja.
8.Every action has a reaction. We've got one planet. One chance.
9.Even in death, Snake can kill you.
10.Kirby ate my girlfriend. But he got her powers.
11.Beer is bad for you. It gives you memory loss. Or worse, memory loss.
12.Joe-boma.
13.When life hands you lemons, give them back and ask for oranges.
14.If a tree falls in the middle of the forest...do the other trees laugh at it?
15.Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Don't question the chicken's motives.
16.Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
17.You laugh because I'm DIFFERENT, I laugh because you're all the SAME!!
18.Light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation(lasers)
19.A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K...and so forth...(some drunk guy said it when a police officer asked him to recite the alphabet)
20.Hey! It's a small world afterall... Including Greenland!!!
21.The war is over (if you want it to be).
22.Arguing on the internet is like running in the special olympics, even if you win, you're still retarded.
23.Next time you're having a bad day, imagine this. You're a Siamese twin. You're brother, attached to you're shoulder, is gay, you're not. He has a date coming over tonight. You only have one butt....(thanks to householdfilms for this one)
24.I may not look like it, but I'm pro at pretending to be a ninja.
25.No smoking unless you're on fire.
26.If you're early, you're on time. If you're on time, you're late. If you're late, don't bother.
27.Did you hear about the Irish man leaving a bar?...It CAN happen.
28.Scientists world-wide have started using lawyers instead of rats for experiments because there are some things even a rat won't do.
29.Blonde secretary wants job; no bad habits; willing to learn.
30.There is no triumph in taking over a nuked city...unless you really want to. And you know you do!(thanks to householdfilms again)
31.Colleges and insane asylums both are mental institutions in a way. But you have to show some improvement to graduate from an asylum.
32.What if the Hokie Pokie IS what it's all about?
33.Don't drink water, fish have sex in it.
34.If you are the only one in your house and everyone else is outside, are you really home alone?
35.MEAT IS MURDER. Tasty, tasty murder.
36.Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some poems rhyme
But this one doesn't
37.On the topic of abortion, how do you feel about cookies?
38.Officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God.
39.The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in school was my blood alcohol content.
40.I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.
41.Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
42.Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
43.Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
44.If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
45.Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and say, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
46.You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.
47.It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.
48.All stressed out and no one to choke....
49.The police never think it's as funny as you do.
50.A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
51.Fat people are hard to kidnap.
52.If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
53.I'm perfectly normal; you can ask any of my psychiatrists.
54.In America, anyone can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
55.Do unto others before they do unto you.
56.Your proctologist called, they found your head.
57.If at first you don't succeed, do what your mother told you.
58.What you call slacking, I call dedicated inactivity.
59.It was on fire when I got there.
60.I intend to live forever...so far so good.
61.I will kill you so hard you will die to death.
62.Procrastination is like masturbation. At first it feels good, but in the end you're only screwing yourself.
Hometown
Hometown
Country
United States
Occupation
Occupationing
Interests
Doing my hobbies
