laurenlivejournal
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new blog!
hello! a year later...
ed/recovery: life is AMAZING!!!
Re: my ed toolbox
ED/recovery: you are not...
ed: recovery gets hard.
ed/recovery: i am not my body
i'm alive & well!
ed/recovery: health and life
ed/recovery ramblings...
Re: Re: ed/recovery: permanent damage
Re: thank you guys. and i'm going away again
ed/recovery: permanent damage
ed: recovery is possible?!?!!!!
ed: let's get real about this.
hello!!! Great super news! and i'm back!
hi friends! out of residential! mini-update
ed: on my way tooooo treatment!!!
Eating Disorder Hell
ed: IP vs. residential?!?!
ed: just trying to hang on...
ED: I'm home, temporarily....
I'm leavin again for treatment
ed: hospital gowns & treatment options
what i have lost to my ed
it's been a while........
RE: Re: re: Truth Part Two
Re: Truth Part Two
ed: little christmas update
ed: struggling more than i thought...
ED: update on health & artwork!
ED: in a hard place 2
ED: in a really bad place 1
ED: URGENT CARE RETARDS!!!
ED: chest pains & a tour of my house!
threehundred strong!
ED: heart attack!
eating disorder: fuurck!!!
i am back! fuck yes!
hey now, i need to calm the fuck down
M.I.A.!!!!
so, drug ramblings. lovefest
ED thoughts & voices
rockstars & doctors
i hate bulimia
ok, real update
tiny mini little update
my 40 reasons
i am alive
entertain me!!!
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laurenlivejournal
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Profile
 
Name:
Laur
Channel Views:
83,662
Total Upload Views:
291,564
Age:
25
Joined:
Aug 9, 2007
Latest Activity:
3 months ago
Subscribers:
1,910
ups & downs of recovery from an ed.
About Me:
 
welcome to my page. I've been lucky enough to have chronicled my ups and downs of my eating disorder via videos on youtube. It's been so helpful to me, and hopefully to a lot of you too!

Brief Synopsis of my story:
began my eating disorder at 11, it got way worse at 17 and continued to get worse each year, month, day...
I went to residential treatment for the first time Dec 26 2007, to RainRock (affiliate of monte nido, owner: carolyn costin), in eugene, oregon for 3 months. I was overweight at admission and was diagnosed ed-nos, and was very sick.
afterwards, I relapsed really badly, did an IOP/PHP in the bay area (california), was hospitalized 3 times, and then went to a great PHP in sacramento.
After some brief period of recovery and outpatient, i relapsed again, worse than ever. Diagnosed with anorexia-purging type, I decided to go to a holistic treatment center in arizona. It didn't work out for me, and I left AMA after 2.5 weeks.
I fell further and further into my illness and depression
In this past April 2009, i was lucky enough to get into Monte Nido Vista (carolyn costins program).
After 45 days residential, 2 months in the transision house and PHP, then 2 months IOP, I am now strong in my recovery. I have an amazing outpatient team that i see on a regular basis, and have stepped down very slowly in treatment this time around. I not have over A YEAR OF RECOVERY free from the ed!!!
I also struggle with drinking and cutting...have 9 months sober from alcohol & no longer self injure.

None of this is easy, it's hard as fuck, but I hope that I can be proof to someone that it is, in fact, possible to recover. 11 of the 22 years of my life, i was sick, and dying, and now i'm not. even in recovery, i had a heart attack and heart surgery, due to permanent damage from the ed.
I hope to share my story, to help someone, anyone.
-L
Country:
United States
Recent Activity  
laurenlivejournal uploaded a new video (3 months ago)
follow me on my new recovery blog, since I can't update here much :)
 
 
laurenlivejournal thinking about making a blog, would you guys be interested in reading/following on there? It's just not feasible to make video updates very often anymore
(4 months ago)
 
 
laurenlivejournal grr made a new video but it won't upload!! will try again later :)
(5 months ago)
 
 
laurenlivejournal uploaded a new video (7 months ago)
update on my life/recovery since my last video a year ago!
 
 
laurenlivejournal aaah no time these days...may make a video, may just record a quick hello/update...we shall see. thanks to everyone still subscribing :)
(8 months ago)
 
Channel Comments
lostwolf29 (3 days ago)
well i just watched your video and judging by the date you posted it it was a little over 3 years ago. i really hope you dont still feel like this but if you do as you can tell it never gets any better really. :( ive had a problem with depression since i was 9 and im bout to be 31 now, as i watched your video and some others on here and its really sad to know that there are others out there dealing with the same thing i have been for over 20 years now. i really do admire that you actually went for help something i havent done to this day. if you ever want to talk just let me know im gonna subscribe to you and try and check every so often to see if you wrote. my names mike and hope to hears from you soon beautiful take care :)
URABombShell (2 weeks ago)
Hi lauren, I hope things are better. Much luv and yes, I'm going to your blog!
laurenlivejournal (2 weeks ago)
I don't log on here often anymore...I just checked my inbox & had countless messages from people relating to my videos on depression & suicidal thoughts, asking me what to do....
I'm not a therapist, I'm not on here, if you're suicidal, go to a hospital, get help-therapy really isn't as scary or taboo as you think it is! Tell a friend or parent, sibling, teacher, tell SOMEONE & get some help
hope164 (1 month ago)
Wishing you a Merry Christmas/happy Holiday's,,I know it stressful but try and focus on family and friends,,I'm around if you need to talk,,,Ive watched you since 2007,,you have come soo far,,I hope your family is happy and healthy..sincerely hope164
savruby (2 months ago)
Im going through depression right now, and your videos have helped me so much. thank you
mirabelle7able (2 months ago)
I just wanted to say hallo ,because i was reading something about you ,when you where so depressed and i did not look at the date soooooo i wrote you a small note.....I am very glad for you you are feeling so much better .
lots of goods for you and your loved one ,very glad you recovered so well
sstpnwf1 (3 months ago)
little one i have been in my own hell since 1990 i know iknow i havekilled myself repeatedly what to say ? right now i too am suffering i want to terminate this existance but i cant due to the cost to other people if rather when i die they go broke and some will hurt others will be happy just a note you are a sweet spirit it appears to me i dont have the answer except to say you are not alone you arenot alone i am the king of pain
prettysailorusagi (3 months ago)
Thanks! It's been quite a ride. Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life!!!
twistedrealitytv1 (4 months ago)
I would follow your blog if you made one, you're very inspiring:)
35712223 (4 months ago)
word up
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