About this user
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║ STOP DiCK SUCKiN'.!!
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Im 14 From Detroit!
=)
15 Things to do when your in Walmart, Target, or any other varied department store!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say
"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream...
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Grab alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
Friendship (And no, not that sissy crap that you get from those stupid poems. This is the god dang truth. AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!)
1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard.
2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused, I will use little words.
7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.
MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who
weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
koolwizzy12
liked
1 year ago
