I've got swine flu = ‹^› ‹(-_-)› ‹^› FUCK TH...

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I got so drunk that I got hit by a car while jaywalking on the way back from the bar, found out that the driver was also drunk, drank beers with the driver on the curb, and woke up with two broken ribs.

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Back in high school, I was hanging out with my friends Ryan and James in James' upstairs bedroom. Ryan had some goggles for swimming (because he was a giant pussy) hanging around his neck, and James asked him why the fuck he was wearing goggles.

Ryan replied "So when I stick my head inside your mom's pussy, I can look around real good and suck her clit without getting any juice in my eyes!"

James' Mom was standing right behind him as he said this, and I got the pleasure to witness the most awkward moment in history play out as Ryan silently walked downstairs and out of the house.
About Me:

IF I SUBBED TO YOU IT IS BECAUSE I DO IT FOR SHITS N GIGGLES NOT TO GET A SUB BACK FROM YOU, ALSO AM NOT A "ISUB" MEMBER OR WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT IS!! I JUST SUBBED BEACUASE I LIKED ONE OF YOUR COMMENTS ON A VIDEO OR I LIKE YOUR CHANNEL----------------------- ------------------------


‹^› ‹(-_-)› ‹^› FUCK THE WORLD
Influences:
your asshole, george "el retardo" bush, mussolini, zarahustra, firewomen, the dmv, my neighbor the guy with down syndrome, hitler, martin luther king jr, ghandi, obama's dog, dick "the pussyboy" cheney, your grandfathers dad, and last but not least, the cunt whore woman which you call your mother.
Similar To:
takin a shit while eating, george bush on steroids, dogs with bowling ball testicles, co-workers that get impregnated by the ceo, chugging 2 gallons of vinegar and drinking a diarrhea Slurpee pee. ͪͭͣͤͩ
Hometown:
THE MOTHERFUCKING MOON
Country:
South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands
Occupation:
Pornstar / Professional Bullshitter
Companies:
Google Inc. & I'm your dad co.
Schools:
University of Milfhunters California
Hobbies:
Cunts and Cünts
Movies:
FUCK TELEVISION only movies, no TV...
Music:
look above ya dumb ässhöle
Books:
yeah i use them to wipe my ass with. actually i do read books. mainly poets of the old persian world, Charles Bukowski and Henry Rollins

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