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Josh Woodward

Josh Woodward: "Dead Code" (VideoSong)

5,520 views 3 weeks ago
Here's the fastest and nerdiest song I've ever written. Special thanks to Kickstarter backer Timothy Hobbs for the idea and support!

Lyrics, MP3 and other goodies here:

http://www.joshwoodward.com/ for 200 more free songs!

All of my music is 100% to download, and to use in your videos (Creative Commons - Attribution).

Special thanks to Stephanus Surjaputra, Martin Dunst, Algirdas Gurevicius, J.C., Shirley Taylor-Prakelt, Clémence Liberge, Michael, Jon Stanley and Torben Deumert!

They optimized my bottlenecks
Removed redundant pointer checks
The database's subselects are indexed to a tee

The shaved the microseconds down
Till there was nothing left to count
I instantaneously found the answer in a breeze

But I've been feeling so alone
Nobody here has called me from a function or a phone
If I'm dead code let me die, cuz I'm only wasting memory alive

I nailed every code review
My scope and reach was absolute
From testing groups to inner loops, I blew them all away

Then one day, it all just stopped
The calling stack was pushed and popped
And never was I found on top after that fateful day


If I'd overshot a pointer
Like a jumping Jackie Joyner
Maybe someone would have noticed me

But I'm stuck here in this limbo
Not where functions who have sinned go
But instead just taking space on IDEs

Did some library just obsolete
The reason why I came to be
Some sexy GPL release
That all the kiddos love

Some neckbeard in a Yoda shirt
A copy, then a paste insert

He didn't finish all the work
And left me here as cruft

If I'm dead code wipe the drive
Cuz I'd rather be a memory than a ghost who's still alive Show less
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