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(Catchy Theme Music Plays) DON'T be fooled by my grainy videos! I am a talented filmmaker who unfortunately loaned $75,000 worth of production equipment to a friend, who is a scuba diver by profession. It was NOT underwater equipment! I now use a $75.00 HP Photosmart camera and eagerly await the day when I can once again...upgraaaaaaaaaade! (Doo-bee-doo-wop, bop-bop-ba-doo-bee!)
About Me:
Featured Players:
STOGEY NIGHTCLUB - A fine young actor who frequently boasts about having been "classically trained" in one of California's most reputable acting schools. What he sometimes neglects to mention is that he was expelled in his very first week of classes after he viciously attacked his roommate, a then-unknown Zack Efron, breaking his jaw with a whiskey bottle. "That floppy-haired faggot had it coming!" Stogey is fond of saying.
While weaker men would probably let an experience like that keep them from drinking, Stogey found solace in the bottle, choosing to improve his acting by studying other substance-abusing thespians, such as Richard Harris, John Belushi, River Phoenix and Ben Affleck. "Looking back on it," says Stogey, "breaking Efron's face may very well have been the best decision I've ever made."
WARDO - "I'll say one thing about that guy," said prison warden Al 'Lockdown' Callaghan in a recent telephone interview. "He sure could make the inmates laugh!"
Upon his release from maximum security prison in 2004, Davis McEldren knew two things for certain: first, he wanted a cheeseburger. It had been so long since he had eaten a cheeseburger. Secondly, he wanted to be forever rid of his troubled past. With those two thoughts in mind, Davis walked down county road #4 in clothing the prison had procured for him at the Salvation Army: a pair of jean-shorts, which had been cut off so low the front pockets hung beneath the denim, and an Avril Lavigne t-shirt.
"Me and the boys thought the resident funny man should have a funny look to match!" cackled warden Callaghan. "So we all chipped in. The Polaroid's still up on the bulletin board!"
When McEldren finally reached the town two miles down the road and signed their motel's guest registry, it was then that he looked upon his new name, in print for the first time.
"I haven't seem you awound heeuh befowuh," ventured the mentally retarded clerk behind the desk.
"That's because I'm new here," came the reply. "My name is Wardo. I'm a character actor."
"You don't look wike a carrot!" said the clerk.
Wardo tightly clenched both fists, but then somehow called on the strength to relax them. Punching mentally retarded people was what had gotten him in to trouble in the first place. No. He was not that man anymore. After a long, deep breath, he calmly exhaled and resumed the conversation.
"Look, uh....can I get my room key now?"
"Sewer ting, mistuh kewwit!"
STEVE - Born in Toronto in 2005, Steve the Cat's original owners immediately recognized that his good looks would be highly prized in the world of advertising. They didn't have to shop him around for long, and Steve quickly added jobs with IAMS, Purina and Whiskas to his resume.
However, the opportunities soon dried up when Steve's binge eating (a habit he developed while on the set of cat food commercials, where displaying a voracious appetite was necessary) began to affect his weight. Soon, the jobs became less and less frequent and he was put up for adoption by his owners.
"When they figured out I was costing them more money than I was bringing in, I was out the door," Steve explained.
Steve soon found himself in a pen at the Humane Society, and it was there that he met JohnnyTasteTest, who stopped in one day to try and sell some "strays" he had found around town.
"After I was informed that The Humane Society doesn't purchase animals anonymously, I was pretty pissed, and yeah, maybe a little embarrassed," said Johnny. "But on the way out I forgot all about that when I saw Steve in his cage. I learned of his work as a commercial actor and decided to adopt him and cast him in more artistic ventures! He thought that was a great idea, but he especially loved the fact that there would be no restrictions on his diet and that he could have all the food he wanted!"
"At first they were a little reluctant to let a guy who, just five minutes earlier, had tried to sell them a truckbed full of stolen cats he had no interest in," says Steve, "but somehow the guy made it happen."
Steve's debut performance was "The Bar Scene" with actor and soon to be frequent co-star Stogie Nightclub. He followed that up with such classics as "The Hat Man," "Poker Runs Afoul" (a largely unseen, rather dark film in which he engages in a controversial love scene with Stogie), a cameo in "Infinite Sandwiches," and then a lead role in "The Hunger Situation," just to name a few.
"As soon as I met [Steve] I could tell right away that he was a professional" says Mr. Nightclub. "Steve gives everything he's got, EVERY single take -- but he usually only needs one. I'm proud to call him a mentor. I'm honoured to call him a friend."
Country:
Canada
Occupation:
Drifter
Schools:
Harvard
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African Face Outside the Today Show when aldos snow forgets the lyrics aaron green goes asking to see if anyone knows them. gif available - http://...
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Channel Comments
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cottonceena
(4 days ago)
'Bout time you woke up from your hibernation and made a new video! :P
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FTWCodClips
(1 week ago)
johnnytastetest<3<3
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jayuzumi
(2 weeks ago)
Yo johnnytastetest
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TheGods1marine
(1 month ago)
Thank you for subscribing to my channel friend, Reggie
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FateofDestinee
(2 months ago)
Hey there, thanks for checking out the latest vidja. Have a good one. - FoD
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RevelAlliance
(3 months ago)
you're a fucking discrace claiming to be a ww1 vet , talking about your mates being blown up, why would you do that? theres 2 left in the world and you are not one of them. also your content is shit dude, nice one x
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realitydottelevision
(3 months ago)
thanks for accepting my invite! hope you like my videos.
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MJMyrna
(4 months ago)
Steve is a beautiful cat.
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realitydottelevision
(4 months ago)
nice channel! come by mine if you have`a sec!
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FateofDestinee
(4 months ago)
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a new vid comment :] - FoD
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