About this user
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I am what I am... and nobody can change me!
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THE BEN COMMANDMENTS
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1. Life is like a tree; some people are peed on and others have their nuts dropping.
2. Cars are like beautiful women; they might get old and rusty one day, but they still jazz up your life!
3. School is like that creepy relative that everybody has; some people understand it and some people don't, but you don't care about it in the end.
4. Ping Pong is a game of tradition, just like prostitution.
5. Whoever smelt it, for god's sake, don't say you dealt it! Friggin retards...
6. If you've crapped your pants, it would be a bad decision to do a hip-hop dance.
7. If it's yellow, it's lemon jello and if it's brown, then I don't want to know what the hell you made it with!
8. Don't dedicate a day of your life to spicy food and milk; it will haunt your sorry ASS the rest of your life...
9. If you see chocolate on the ground, think first.
10. If you think you're about to have a psychotic breakdown of violence or mentality, always keep a straight jacket handy.
11. If a dragon flies over head, imaginary or real, make sure you have an umbrella.
12. If you want to see time fly, sleep. Don't throw a clock out of a window. Only a mentally ill, dangerous old person would do that.
13. Two cannibals are eating a clown; one of them says: 'Who the f**k came up with this crappy joke?!
14. What does a horny frog say? Rub it - Rub it. T_T
15. Why did you waste your time reading these? Tell a friend to!
16. Check out my friggin' videos!
17. If someone is crying, blame it on the squirrels; they are cute, vicious, and fluffy weapons of mass destruction. THE AGE OF THE SQUIRREL HAS ARRIVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! muuhahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, i got carried away.
18. If you are going to make a bet with somebody, buy catapult with a pig inside the flingy spoon part. So when he says: " That'll happen the day pigs fly!", you'll be prepared. Figure out the next move! hehe
19. Buy a coller that shocks you when anger emerges!
20. Wouldn't it be cool if people used worms filled with burning gunpowder as sling-shot ammo, aimed right at the sky, and said " Polly's getting more than crackers tonight, ya little hole humpers!!!" ???
21. 2 words: Ka Boom.
22. If any of you think you can watch the scariest horror movie ever, it is called a mirror! burn...diss... that was sad... i hate myself...
23. Scratch " I'm rubber, you're glue" and change to " While i rubb her, you poo!" I need some new material.
24. Finally, the thing you've all been waiting for..... THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION OF WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?
******** **** ***** ****** *** *** ** ****** * ************ *** ***** **** *** ******* **** ****** !!!
iSN'T THAT AMAZING??? I FORGOT TO FILL IN THE BLANKS!!! Zinger!
25. Fact: Bonobo chimps have sex 50 times an hour, 24/7, 365 days a years. I don't know how that turns some people on... That's disgusting.
PS: use the word splinge when insulting somebody! It is a combo of whatever curses or insults come to mind all put into one word! Don't plagiarize this by saying it's yours! I made it up!
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Age
21
Hometown
New Jersey
Country
United States
Occupation
none
Companies
none
Interests
Books, animals, paleontology.
