Hey there big boy!

A sweet lil' birdie told me that it was a certain lad's special day not too long ago...

Gramps is real proud of you, sonny! Hope your birthday was as good as all mine have been.

Just remember, when you get as old as I am, blowing out the candles is a bit more dangerous. First of all, there are more candles. And then, of course, my cough is a problem. Last year, I got to wheezing and hacking so much, my pal McRaid almost had to make the Life Alert call.

hey umbugular slashkilter. it is lonely here without you. i miss you terribly.

ahoy ahoy polka dot!

Ah, so you think my name ideas are retarded? Don't make me come up with more!

Okay John, I can understand your not being happy with Denise's name for you. That is why I'm giving you a choice!

Vladimir
Skippy
Cornelius
Telemachus
Ajax
Fran
Baltimore
Holly

Which of these would you prefer?

If you can't choose, the default is Giovanni Mar-teen Markell.

Two things I learned so far this week...

Denise is afraid of Poltergeist.
Denise is afraid of mosquitoes.

We must use this to our advantage, as we do all her fears.

John, Denise was practicing her Soulja Boy dance last night. I think she must be about ready to perform it for you. Too bad I have no idea how it goes.

Actually I found mounds upon mounds of gold and treasure in the cave!

Ahoy old chap!

You will pay dearly.