About this user
Annoy people by:
Stealing some useless object (a stapler) and yelling, "Yes! This will feed my family for months!"
Crying and yelling "Why can't you people just leave me alone!" when a store employee offers you assistance.
Singing along at an opera (especially if you're a horrible singer).
Screaming at the top of your lungs, "Run for your lives! They're on the loose!" every time you leave the zoo.
Telling your children over dinner "Due to economy, we're going to have to let one of you go."
Having your friends address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
Taking photos of random people walking down the street then run away, making sure they saw you beforehand.
Stealing someone's road map and marking "X - buried treasure" on random places.
Calling random numbers and insisting you're holding their daughter hostage unless they pay a fine.
Walking to the middle of a big crowd and singing any theme song of your choice (Dora, Pokemon, or the Fun Song on Spongebob are good).
Using one dryer for each of your socks at the laundromat.
Skipping more than you walk.
Sitting in your front yard and pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Instead of singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall, sing 999,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall.
.sdrawkcab gnitirW
Walking up to to random strangers insisting you are family.
Going to Mcdonalds and asking for a BK Whopper.
Asking for some diet water to go with that burger.
Looking at your hand in amazement and say, "Whoa, I never knew I had this!"
Labeling ordinary household items dangerous weapons of mass destruction.
Walking around with a plastic sword and shield and telling strangers, "I must avenge the death of my father!"
Supergluing quarters to the ground.
Screaming that "you won" over and over every time money comes out of the ATM.
Going into a fitting room and waiting for a few minutes, then yelling "There's no toilet paper in here!"
Walking up to people and asking them in a serious tone, "Do you know the muffin man?"
Suspiciously sneaking around a store while constantly humming the Mission Impossible theme song.
Moving a "Caution - Wet Floor" sign to a carpeted area.
Hijacking a plane and using the intercom to tell everybody to visit my Youtube account.
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How to annoy your teachers:
Go to class with no pants, claim you forgot something, and come back with a hat.
When given a 2000-word paper, draw two pictures of what it was supposed to be about. After all, a picture's worth 1000 words.
Draw intense battle scenes on important exams.
Write a paper about how Harry Potter got to go to Hogwarts and Van Gogh didn't. Talk about whether Van Gogh would have used a wand or a staff.
If you're a computer wiz, replace a film scheduled for the whole school to "One Night in Paris" (ahem... *wink**wink*).
When the PA comes on, shout, "No! Not the voices! Not again!!!"
When the teacher gives homework, say loudly, "Yes master, I will not fail you!"
Cite different episodes of Blues Clues as resources in your projects.
Switch famous people with your close friends when writing a history prompt. Claim that your classmate led the French Revolution.
On the first day of school, pretend you're a transfer student and you don't know any english (only works if you're bilingual).
On the first roll-call, claim you go by an absurd name (Manfred).
When writing a very long paper, put a recipe for chocolate cake in the middle and see if the teacher notices.
Come late to class with a toy light saber, claiming there was "a disturbance in the force".
Petition to ban any subject you don't get.
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You know you run Windows Vista when:
Your conscience keeps pestering you on every single action you do.
You freak out if one of the sheets in your filing cabinet is lost.
All the things you used before your "upgrade" are now incompatible with each other.
You make more problems than you actually solve.
Every time you see the color blue you take out your handy-dandy Vista CD and jam it into the nearest available slot.
When you go to sleep your eyesight slowly fades away.
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You know you run a Mac when:
You make more media/games than you actually play.
Ideas of new i-products pop into your mind when you're bored.
Your fingers are now contorted for continuously doing that cloverleaf + period thing.
You're adapted to jamming your finger on the power button every time Finder pops up.
Half of the time you're on the computer it's restarting itself.
You know all two of the games on your Mac by heart.
Finder smiles upon you right before you fall asleep.
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