Jesus would be pro torture. He would also own a gun and support the bombing of Iraq. Jesus spoke to Mrs California and told her that altering the breasts god gave her would be biblically correct, he said it would be the Christian thing to do especially if she put her boobs to use by posing topless.
Jesus also said that Abstinence only works best for everyone except the Palin family. He said theres not much good lookin poon in Alaska so the Palin women are allowed to give it up.

Republicans are a bunch of ignorant malcontents, who can be worked into a frenzy about anything. They simply can't live with the reality that they lost the election so badly. Their desperation has lead them to look increasingly insane. Their divorce from reality and retreat into the political netherland of subjective hate and fear, runs counter to the direction of the conciousness of our country. These Palinesque optics will lead them to a major defeat in 2010 and 2012. Life is beautiful.