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Aug 29, 2009
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Aug 29, 2009
big ian surrenders to bertie at the boyne
he hands over there last musket
he hands over there last musket
About Me:
Paisley died and went to heaven. When he got there he knocked long and hard on the pearly gates. St.Peter came out and asked his name.
YOU DON'T KNOW MY NAME ? I'M THE REV. IAN PAISLEY He roared at St. Peter. St. Peter looked at his list and could not find his name. Sorry said St.Peter you're not on the list.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT ON THE LIST??? DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM? As a matter of fact I do, said St. Peter, but your name is not on the list, THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH I'M A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON MY NAME SHOULD BE ON THE LIST. St. Peter tried to explain that it's not easy to get into heaven, that you have to be a Catholic. When Paisley hears this he starts to complain. So St. Peter says that had he had been good to Catholics he would have some chance.
WELL, roared Paisley, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN VERY GOOD TO CATHOLICS, WHY ONLY TWO WEEKS AGO I MET A YOUNG GIRL WHO HAD MADE HER COMMUNION AND I GAVE HER A POUND AND TWO WEEKS BEFORE I MET A YOUNG BOY WHO HAD MADE HIS COMMUNION AND I HAVE HIM A POUND, NOW WHAT DO YOU SAY NOW MR. ST. PETER!
St. Peter took a few notes on what he said. He told Paisley to wait that he would have to go and talk to GOD and get some advice. About ten minutes later St. Peter come out and said to Paisley, HERE'S YOUR TWO POUNDS BACK, NOW FUCK OFF.
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Ian Paisley goes into a coma. After twenty years he regains consciousness. The first person he sets eyes on is Peter Robinson.
Paisley, desperate to find out how the situation in the north turned out grabs hold of Robinson and says "Peter, what have I missed over the last 20 years? Did we win, did we lose? You've gotta tell me"
Robinson replies "Well Ian, I've got some good news and some bad news. Do you want the good or the bad first?"
Paisley thinks about it for a minute and say "Gimme the bad news first"
Robinson: "Well the bad news is that Gerry Adams is the new president of the United Ireland"
Paisley is shocked but enquires further "So what's the good news then?"
Robinson: "Rangers are beating Celtic in the cup final" Paisley is delighted by this and asks "What score is it?"
Robinson: "3-14 to 1-11"
Hometown:
goats hill
Country:
Afghanistan
Interests:
Iris opened up a Chinese takeaway. she called it "Fuckem Yung" lmao A Nineteen year old man was seen marching around Belfast in an orange order uniform singing, "It is old but it is beautiful..." apparently Iris had a a 3some with greogory campbelll & Martin McGuinness. greorgory took her up the Waterside & Martin took her up the Bogside Does anyone fancy lunch tomorrow at The Lock Keepers Inn in Castlereagh? I hear the young chef does a great Orange Tart. The parade comission has been asked if dey gave permission for iris to be banged more times than a lambeg drum and if she was taken up the traditional route Peter asks Iris "Tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time" - Gerry adams **** is smaller than urs The DUP have moved their AGM away from the Europa hotel next year because too many people where slipping into Robinson's for a quick one. peter robinson goes to the doctor complaining of a sore eye for months. the docter has a look and says "i know whats wrong, theres been something stuck in your iris Iris tells Peter she has a friend in financial trouble what should she do? Peter says Fcuk him... kurt is talken 2 his freinds an dey ask "dya wanna go swimming" so he says "no but i fancy a dip in da Robinson's center" DUP- drop ur pants party, Ulster says no buy Iris say, Yes, Yes, Oh Fcuk Yes!!! we all thought Rory Mcllroy was the Irish version of Tiger Woods, turns out it was actually Iris Robinson Well you gotta hand it to her, for a pensioner she has game lmao. Kurt is total legend though, he did in 1 night what Sinn Féin has tried to do 4 30 odd years, brought down the DUP, and he even got paid and got his leg up to do it Source(s): when it first came up i got a load of texts from mates with all these lmao
Channel Comments
Sisters,Brothers, Uncle Sean and Others
We all buck one another
We're the Adams family !
jocks a real Adams lmbo
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