Perfection is the flaw
fuckupthatsme's Channel
 
Uploads (45)
ED: To hell & back
ED: To hell & back fuckuptha... - 307 views - 2 months ago
fuckupthatsme
7 comments
*Trigger Warning*
The end. This video is a documentary of my very lows and recent highs, even though I still have bad days I have come so far. My days are no longer controlled by my eating disorder, I am free.
-GQFoNtZjaM
How it all began...
How it all began... fuckuptha... - 359 views - 5 months ago
About the emotions and feelings that someone with an eating disorder feels, I didn't write these words. I didn't even find them....Thank's Jen for sharing them with me, They really touched me hence the video.
Sorry the vid is a little shit, I'm out of practice!
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Courage is Recovery
Courage is Recovery fuckuptha... - 566 views - 8 months ago
a positive video for anyone trying to recover from any form of eating disorder or mental illness.

Text from the begining of the video

Eating disorders are diseases of silence.

We are all silently screaming for something: attention, love, help, escape or forgiveness. Although we might be looking to fill different voids, we never ask for the things we need. We feel unworthy, that for some reason we don't deserve them.

So, we play the game of guess what I need from you. You're inability to guess just feeds our feelings of worthlessness.
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Favorites (123)
ED: To hell & back
ED: To hell & back fuckuptha... - 307 views - 2 months ago
fuckupthatsme
7 comments
*Trigger Warning*
The end. This video is a documentary of my very lows and recent highs, even though I still have bad days I have come so far. My days are no longer controlled by my eating disorder, I am free.
-GQFoNtZjaM
Eating Disorder Hell
Eating Disorder Hell laurenliv... - 1,846 views - 2 months ago
{may be triggering]

what it's been like for me, in the past few years of my eating disorder.
pure hell. misery.
eating disorders aren't a joke, they aren't a fad, a diet, or a way to lose weight.
they kill.
you recover. or you ultimately die...
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Kelly Clarkson - My Life Would Suck Without You
Kelly Clarkson - My Life Would Suck Without You kellyclar... - 14,985,107 views - 5 months ago
Kelly Clarkson My Life Would Suck Without You from the album My Life Would Suck Without You
(C) 2008 19 Recordings Limited
bap-oZI-Grc
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Recovery Inspiration (19)
A lifetime of goodbyes
A lifetime of goodbyes fuckuptha... - 630 views - 1 year ago
when you suffer from an ed you say so many goodbyes and then when you start the road to recovery you have a whole lot of new goodbyes to make.
It doesn't matter if they are good or bad they are never easy.
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the cold hard truth
the cold hard truth fuckuptha... - 305 views - 1 year ago
this is the reality of eating disorders.
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Taking Confidence and Beauty Back
Taking Confidence and Beauty Back beautywit... - 264 views - 1 year ago
um ok so there is a whole big story (with a moral and everything :) that I got from my T that inspired this.

Just try not to let words bring you down becasue you worth more. Also sometimes the truth hurts but today for the next minutes atleast it is also kind.
pnUo5RtBVXM
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dying to dance (9)
Dying to dance pt1
Dying to dance pt1 degrassiCTV - 29,778 views - 1 year ago
Alyssa Lennox, age 18 (McCullough) is one of the 5 to 10 million American females who suffer from anorexia nervosa. Fresh out of h Alyssa Lennox, age 18 (McCullough) is one of the 5 to 10 million American females who suffer from anorexia nervosa. Fresh out of high school, Alyssa joins a major ballet company and quickly begins to believe that ballerinas must be pencil-thin. As her obsession accelerates, she lives on a near-starvation diet while punishing herself with excessive exercise. As anorexia plays greater havoc in her life, Alyssa's relationships suffer, her health deteriorates and her dance performance level plummets. When her loss of strength results in a dangerous accident and subsequent hospitalization, she ignores the clear warning signs.

-Written by Toni Perling and directed by Mark Haber.
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Dying to dance pt2
Dying to dance pt2 degrassiCTV - 16,723 views - 1 year ago
Alyssa Lennox, age 18 (McCullough) is one of the 5 to 10 million American females who suffer from anorexia nervosa. Fresh out of h Alyssa Lennox, age 18 (McCullough) is one of the 5 to 10 million American females who suffer from anorexia nervosa. Fresh out of high school, Alyssa joins a major ballet company and quickly begins to believe that ballerinas must be pencil-thin. As her obsession accelerates, she lives on a near-starvation diet while punishing herself with excessive exercise. As anorexia plays greater havoc in her life, Alyssa's relationships suffer, her health deteriorates and her dance performance level plummets. When her loss of strength results in a dangerous accident and subsequent hospitalization, she ignores the clear warning signs.

-Written by Toni Perling and directed by Mark Haber.
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dying to dance pt3
dying to dance pt3 degrassiCTV - 13,707 views - 1 year ago
Alyssa Lennox, age 18 (McCullough) is one of the 5 to 10 million American females who suffer from anorexia nervosa. Fresh out of h Alyssa Lennox, age 18 (McCullough) is one of the 5 to 10 million American females who suffer from anorexia nervosa. Fresh out of high school, Alyssa joins a major ballet company and quickly begins to believe that ballerinas must be pencil-thin. As her obsession accelerates, she lives on a near-starvation diet while punishing herself with excessive exercise. As anorexia plays greater havoc in her life, Alyssa's relationships suffer, her health deteriorates and her dance performance level plummets. When her loss of strength results in a dangerous accident and subsequent hospitalization, she ignores the clear warning signs.

-Written by Toni Perling and directed by Mark Haber.
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sharing the secret (10)
Sharing The Secret - Part 1
Sharing The Secret - Part 1 dustyfall - 285,873 views - 1 year ago
Sharing The Secret
Part 1 of 10

Movie Description from Lifetime -
"A child psychologist ignores all the signs of her daughter's eating disorder. Will she catch on to her child's out-of-control bingeing and purging before it's too late? This disturbing, very true-to-life film features Mare Winningham, Alison Lohman, Diane Ladd and Tim Matheson."

Stars: Diane Ladd, Mare Winningham, Alison Lohman

© CBS Television 2000
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Sharing The Secret - Part 2
Sharing The Secret - Part 2 dustyfall - 142,989 views - 1 year ago
Sharing The Secret
Part 2 of 10

© CBS Television 2000
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Sharing The Secret - Part 3
Sharing The Secret - Part 3 dustyfall - 115,272 views - 1 year ago
Sharing the Secret
Part 3 of 10

© CBS Television 2000
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fuckupthatsme  
Profile
 
Name:
Lizzy
Channel Views:
5,644
Age:
24
Joined:
February 03, 2008
Last Sign In:
2 days ago
Videos Watched:
4,336
Subscribers:
127
Life is life, it is good and bad the key to living is to be yourself, do what makes you happy and don't sweat the small stuff. Life can be amazing if you give it that chance. To be totally you is more impressive than perfection ever could be!
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I AM PRO RECOVERY
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these video's are a way for me to express myself. I spend my life pretending to be something I'm not (perfect) but here I am just me, the good and the bad, the naughty and nice.
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I want to know why it is that you never appriciate what you have until its gone. why the thing you really want you cannot ask for and why you crave what someone else has and never what you get?
Liveº¤ø„¸¸„ø¤º°¨laugh¸„ø¤º°¨¨¨ °º¤ø„¸¨¨°º¤ø„¸¨° ¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ø¤º°¨love,¨¨°º¤ø„¸„ø¤ º°¨ ¸„ø¤º°¨¸„ø¤º°¨„¸¨°º¤ø„¸¸„¸„ø¤º °¨¨¨°º¤ø„¸¨° ``°º¤ø„and smile¨¨°º¤ø„¸
About Me: HAPPINESS IS ONLY REAL IF YOU HAVE SOMEONE TO SHARE IT WITH!
I am in the care of a therapist, psychologist, doctor, dietitian, chiropractor, physio, um and thats all for now.
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I want to help raise awerness about eating disorders and mental illness
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There is NO shame in seeking help
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when I grow up I think I want to be a nurse.
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I just got a livejournal so if your on that let me know :-)
Hometown:
peace
Country:
Belize
Occupation:
Student, recovery from my eating disorder
Companies:
sef help
Schools:
School of Life
Hobbies:
I like listening to the rain on the roof, I like wriggling my toes in the sand at the beach, I like extra mints, I like to sing to the radio when I'm in my car, I like soft toys, I like when the sun comes out from behind the clouds, I like pine cones, I like mud on a farm, I like flanel pj's that keep me warm and I like to sit on cliff tops, look at the view and breath in all the beauty.
Recent Activity  
fuckupthatsme rated a video: (2 weeks ago)
P!nk So What (c) (C) 2008 LaFace Records, LLC
 
 
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fuckupthatsme commented on hi friends! out of residential! mini-update (3 weeks ago)
"yay Lauren :-)

you are smiling yay yay yay :-)

xoxo"
 
 
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fuckupthatsme rated a video: (4 weeks ago)
Watch in High Quality! Put &fmt=18 at the end of the URL for HQ.

Pink live in Belfast, Odyssey Arena, with very high quality sound and picture.

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Channel Comments (210)
PopGoThePeaches (2 months ago)
Heyy, I dont know if you will remember me - I was looking on my old channel (lovemetothebone) at some of the comments you left me during my recovery and you were so supportive so i just wanted to say thank you!

Its been so long since we spoke so maybe you will not remember, Ive relapsed horridly in the last year so look very different and I have short blonde hair now too! But I was finally able to access my old channel and see the people on there, so I just wanted to say thanks =]

I hope things are well for you, dear xxxxx
crushrockimpact (2 months ago)
YOU SOUND LIKE FUN i wish in my town people were themselves and enjoyd life...i try to enjoy life but im am surrounded by hate..KEEP THE SUN SHINING ON YOUR HEAD. i see counsellors and psychiatrists to i have no support but i love to support others STAY STRONG
DarkAngelNCharmed (3 months ago)
hey. how are you doing?
DarkAngelNCharmed (4 months ago)
hey. anything new?
maryniceforever (4 months ago)
thanks for  acept
MyOwnStickFigure (4 months ago)
GREAT background. Thank you so much for popping in to say hi, long time no talk! I hope you are weel Lizzy. Hugs and healing to you. I am doing good, very chipper in life right now too! Enjoy your new weekend ahead honey. xo
islamforever08 (4 months ago)
hey hope you are doing good? i have suffered deppreshion for the past 5 years and i just seen your video on deppreshion and i think the same most of the time i tried to kill myself about 6 or 7 times but not had the courage to go the extra bit to actully do it but have been in hospital from attemps but i would not wish it on anyone can you please talk to me about it because i really need someone who has had the same experiances as i am going thought please
buwTfrmPAIN (4 months ago)
hi hi
I'm ok, can't complain:) hows you?
you've been as hard to find as me lately.
absence makes the heart grow stronger and such.
x o x o x o
love your background btw
outacontrolchick89 (4 months ago)
hey, how have you been?
graceツ
DarkAngelNCharmed (4 months ago)
how are you doing? i love watching your videos. i hope you keep staying strong.
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