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Wherever Katie goes, she'll still be inappropriately funny, super sarcastic, and will continue to say "fuck" more often than a truck driver with Tourettes.
So my money's on The CBS Evening News with Katie Nolan.
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fidorover replied to a comment from TWOTHREEOFCLUBS 4 days ago
And then maybe you can try a comma once in a while.
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If someone actually paid you to play the part of the biggest D-bag ever,
you couldn't possibly do better than Justin Bieber does without even trying.
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Would love to see a New Yorkers React series.
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Dunkin Donuts: 1
Batshit Crazy: 0
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Always nice to have the crap scared out of you so early in the day.
Makes the 'morning poop' so much easier.
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On the plus side, Katie's former Health teacher saved a shit ton of money on Oil of Olay.
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What if it's dusk?
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And likely, someday soon, they'll wear matching straight jackets. Adorable.
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Wedding Crashers 2:
Starring Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, and Grace Helbig as Vince's hot-but-ditzy wife who he needs to divorce so he can crash more weddings with Owen Wilson.
You're welcome, Hollywood.
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Oh, bacon. Is there anything you can't do?
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Nerds. Ya give 'em an inch, they take a Nikki Reed.
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It's pretty scary how well people lie these days. Lots of practice, apparently.
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The judge next week: "Hi, welcome to Blimpie's, may I take your order?"
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To quote the immortal Happy Gilmore: "The price is wrong, bitch!"
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I wonder if Clark Kent ever wore a Superman t-shirt around town, just to fuck with people.
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I love that he did this in the most squeaky clean city on the planet.
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Just 1 minute before the scene at :57, the guy who owns the blue vehicle said,
"Woo hoo, guys, I just made my final car payment!!"
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Wow, 8 hot dogs and 8 beers.
I've never been more proud of Katie.
I've also never been more disgusted by Katie.
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Man, Anne Hathaway picked the wrong week to start watching Speed Round.
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She's as sane as her husband is straight.
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I'm a Presbyterian, which is a much easier church.
We get into heaven as long as we change our oil every 3,000 miles.
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Let's just all be thankful his scandal didn't involve
him tweeting naked pictures of himself.
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I'm officially removing "Climb Everest" from my Bucket List and replacing with
"Take Stairs Instead of Elevator One of These Days."
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My favorite Spice Girl is Blitzen. No, wait. Silly me. It's Dopey. Dopey Spice.
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A dick is a terrible thing to waste.
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So the guy has a stolen credit card number and can shop anywhere he wants, and he shops at Radio Shack? For cheap speaker wire and generic batteries that last a week?
Before they charge him with fraud, they might wanna do a mental evaluation first.
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The Amanda Bynes Theme Park:
It's all cute and sweet at first, but by the end you're being chased by a chick in a
Cousin Itt wig and hit by a frickin' vase/bong that just falls out of the sky.
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Wow. That meal takes a lot more effort than my usual untoasted Pop Tarts.
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And, cue Gloria Allred...
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I think that went well.
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The ball girl tossed him the ball as if to say, "There ya go. Hope you enjoyed your nap."
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Take that, Jerry Lewis.
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Wow. The perfect Speed Round.
Every joke killed, Katie seems in good spirits, and all feels right with the world.
Now I'm gonna click on the Huffington Post front page to completely undo all the wonderfulness I feel.
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I lost my sister 3 years ago due to complications from a lifetime of Bulimia. She was my best friend. People who don't understand eating disorders always said things like, "It's a made-up disease" or "just stop throwing up" or "snap out of it." When she tried not to purge, she'd exercise like a maniac. There was a period where we talked 3 hours a day because she wouldn't trust a therapist. But eating disorders are too much to overcome without help. So I'm glad you're seeing someone awesome.
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Would've also worked with Jenna Jameson.
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I can't believe she actually ate those. Katie's got balls.
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Ford Fiesta. More like, Ford Siesta.
YOU'VE BEEN HAZED, FORD!
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I don't think Vitaly is gonna live much longer.
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WARNING: Do not scan this photo with your Douche-O-Meter.
May cause meter to explode.
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Me like to see words I write. Yay.