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Neil Rogers

Neil Rogers Show - I Only Got a 3 Inch Tool

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"I Only Got a 3 Inch Tool" (artist unknown) parody of "I Only Want to be With You" (Dusty Springfield)
My sack is like a thimble and my nuts are like pearls
I don't even have enough to pack a squirrel
I've tried secret lotions and technologies
But it don't get no bigger than a golf tee
There's nothing I can do...I only got a 3 inch tool
You'll be disappointed when you reach my house
Cause you won't know for sure if I'm a man or a mouse
It ain't no Big Mac more like a Happy Meal
You'll get more satisfaction from your high heel
You'll swear I was in the pool, cause I only got a 3 inch tool
Sometimes at night I wonder if it will ever grow
if I was a homosexual, I couldn't even push in your stool
It looks like Mr. Peanut without the cane
Its got capillaries instead of veins
I could cut circulation with a pinkie ring
For Halloween I dressed it like a Buffalo wing
Its in a suction tube, cause I only got a 3 inch tool
Even with a metric rule, I only got a 3 inch tool
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Neil Rogers 1999 Play

For MP3 versions of these shows, visit NeilRogers.org and follow the links on the spreadsheet to the Audio Archives.

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