Profile
Name:
Julia
Channel Views:
2,870
Total Upload Views:
25,123
Joined:
Sep 19, 2007
Latest Activity:
12 hours ago
Subscribers:
14
About Me:
This channel started when I seriously became anorexic. Like nearly every anorectic I developed an enormous obsession with some subject. For me it was art and writing. So this is nothing more than my therapy. I threw up everything I ate, used to hurt myself, tried to kill myself for four times (pills, pills+alc, razor blade 1+2), carved two tattoos into my skin, lost some weight and any self-confidence I ever had. In the end all I was, were 1m black hair, bones and an incredible obsession for food. (I still love cooking, but hate eating it myself. There are things that can only be eaten in one way and things that I just have to throw up.) I weight 48kg and was like 1,75m. Then I have lost any strenght, couldn't wash my hair because it was too heavy when wet or bend over my head, and finally fainted after four hours of swinging outside in the winter. Wearing a T-Shirt to burn more calories through coldness.
Today I'm back to being fat again. My hair is still growing (though I cutted it earlier). I still don't have any confidence in myself, neither my body. I usually tend to seem quite normal and calm, but on the inside I am always thinking about, how others my see me right now.
Therefore I just can't talk to people in my age. Especially with women. Pretty, thin women. I always feel, how their disapproving glance is looking me over and judging me. But I really like entertaining kids and seniors. But I just can't handle people my age.
Now you won't believe it when I tell you, even I have friends. My best friend is staying by my side fore 13 years now. I also my count my little sister as friend. I think. The lovely person I used to sit next to back in school is now in Sweden with her beloved. And now there are two more girls left, worth mentioning, they're my sons and call me "Dad", like nearly all of my friends. Only another friend (that is with us for 13 years now) is calling me her beloved husband. But if you are still interested - I also have a boyfriend. For nearly three years. We're going to marry, buy a silly dog, a cat and have two children. See?
I don't smoke, don't like to drink. I spend my whole day in front of the PC, constantly trying to lose weight, well-knowing that I will be back to bulimia, even if I try to do it healthy. I still love making up lists. Eating things in a certain way. Doing things like I always do them. I still hate talking to strangers. Everything I can do, I do over the internet. Especially social contacts are limited to it.
I prefer wearing black. But I can't stand having my hair dyed black, so the only alternative colour is red. Naturally I have dark brown hair. My eyes are blue and green on the outer border and getting brown and orange when getting closer to the pupil (btw I LOVE anatomy and nearly everything about biology). Wearing black, having some strict hairdo, I love being barefeet to confuse people about my style (it's too late for any advices respecting this). Further I like producing strange sounds or acting abnormal.
Btw, I have a cat and a snake. I love Yaoi, Hentai and Neko. I play L4D2, Dragon Nest, Forsaken World and Audiosurf. I stopped playing SRO, Flyff and Nostale because of them being to boring. I'm addicted to Facebook, YouTube and deviantART. I love sugar.
Some years ago, a friend asked whether I only live of sugar, love and light.
Country:
Germany
Schools:
2011: Finals - CHECK!
Interests:
Watching people. Doing research on them. Yes, I'm a professional stalker. I just love to creep people out.
Music:
Listening to random music. Normally to what my sister and my friends show me.
Books:
Nearly everything written by Kafka, Carrol, Goethe, Rilke, Isau, Moers & my most bestest Frau Ente. I prefer reading on commendation. (Earlier I was given some books by my teachers.)
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(95)
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FFF = T********, ОБЖИРАТЬСЯ, СМОТРЕТЬ ТЕЛЕВИЗОР
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Channel Comments
bist schon ne süße :)
Liebe Grüße =)
i'm online now...
But lazy, aren't we? Writing everything in yer own language. Come on do something for school!
okay...
you alright?
Maybe ya could send me some videos that are actually interesting for me?
i like my few favourites so...
hadn't any, don't know what ya mean, what's that?
Doch, es ist überaus lustig, Sie hier zu treffen. Man trifft sich ja immer zweimal im leben, nicht wahr?
Besuchen Sie das Niveau und grüßen Sie es von mir ;)