About this user
"Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
- Budapest Zoo sign
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer
"Where the hell is Australia anyway?"
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer
"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."
- Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman
"Most lies about blondes are false."
- Cincinnati Times-Star, headline
"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
"It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
"And now the sequence of events in no particular order."
- Dan Rather, television news anchor
"Man thought hurt, but slightly dead."
- Providence Journal Headline
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
- Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager
"There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people"
- David Coleman, Sportscaster
"Our strength is that we don't have any weaknesses. Our weakness is that we don't have any real strengths."
- Frank Broyles, College football coach
"There is no housing shortage in Lincoln today - just a rumour that is put about by people who have nowhere to live."
- G.L. Murfin, Mayor of Lincoln
"Yes, maam? Right here, this lady. No, she! Yes, right, second row. Next to the guy in the blue shirt, holding her left hand up. It's a he? Sorry about that. Gotta be careful. I'm very sorry. Go ahead! I'm, excuse me, I'm very sorry. Go, ah, I, a thousand apologies, go ahead."
- George Bush Sr., Former U.S. President, at a press conference
"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
- George Gobel
"And now, will y'all stand and be recognized."
- Gib Lewis, Texas Speaker of the House, to a group of people in wheelchairs on Disability Day
"I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity."
- Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
- Greg Norman, Golfer
"FIRST, CARRY TO FIRE."
- Instructions on a fire extinguisher
"My appetite is so good that I can eat the tablecloth right off
the chair."
- Joseph Moakley, Massachusetts representative
"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
- Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst
"I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad."
- Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
- Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
"When I'm a blonde, I can say the world is purple, and they'll believe me because they weren't listening to me."
- Kylie Bax, Model/Actress , in Stuff magazine.
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
- Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota.
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
"Okay, everyone, now inhale... and then dehale!"
- Maury Wills, Los Angeles Dodgers captain, leading his teammates through warm-up calisthenics
"I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife."
- Mike Greenwell, Baseball player
"I think you can't repeat the first time of something..."
- Natalie Imbrulia, Singer, on her Grammy nomination
"Danny, as you know, was hospitalized last week after complaining about chest and sideburns."
- Ned Martin, Sportscaster
"That's just the tip of the ice cube."
- Neil Hamilton, BBC2
