About this user
It's funny growing up. When I think of my past I ache. I ache for the people who I loved who are now gone. I ache for the memories of being happy. I ache for the reminders that brought me sorrow and stress and sadness. I miss my father. He died a few years ago. I miss my mother, who I am on the outs with. I miss being a child sometimes, I miss having a bright future. I miss daydreaming about the way my life was going to be. I sit here and I obsess over small things because I can't bear to deal with the true issues of pain and regret and sorrow and grief. I remember being young and wanting to just be an adult so I could make my own choices and have control over my life. And now I just want that feeling of innocence again, at times. I remember telling myself to remember certain times, willing myself to take in exactly how I felt in that moment. Those moments that literally take your breath away. Those moments where life seems too short and you just ache because you want to live forever. I miss having those moments. I have so many memories, good and bad, and I say it's funny because life goes by so fast. Much faster than I can handle sometimes. Sometimes I see it go by me, life goes by me and I want to just grasp it and be able to hold on to it just for a little while. I want to be happy, I want to stop pretending like everything is okay. I miss being in a room with every single person I loved more than life itself, laughing and thinking that it would always be that way. I wish I could have treasured those moments more at the time. Because I will never have those people all together again. I have so much regret. I don't want to live in this misery anymore. My father wanted me to just be happy and I'm failing him. I want to be more than I am right now. I pray for better days and a brighter future. I hope I can overcome my demons and learn to just be okay. I pray for God to give me strengh. To give us all strengh. Be safe. Get Help. Love Life Again. I love you all.
ShellsBells
Age
25
Country
United States
