About this user
A dynamic figure, I am often seen scaling walls and leaping large buildings in a single bound. I have been known to hand roll cigars from Cuban whole leaf tobacco on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for French refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike drum playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert concerning cheap sunglasses, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in the Virgin Islands. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I write rock ballads for Aerosmith and ZZ Top. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured Arizona with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact orgasms. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only tin foil and a toaster oven. I breed prize winning thoroughbred race horses. I have thrown rocks at God but only hit a disciple. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet eaten quiche. I saddle a Harley Davidson, the best motorcycle ever made. I ride too fast to worry about my cholesterol levels.
Country
United States
Occupation
addictions counselor
Schools
lsu
Interests
cheap sunglasses... john wayne movies...public shows of affection...big motorcycles... the art of playing guitar... harley davidson... helicopters... tattoo's... deep superficial pondering... cigars... politics...psychology... vatsyayana of kama sutra (sanskrit for "aphorisms of love")
