______________________________ _ I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. ______________________________ _ I don't perspire and I'm a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I've been caller number nine and won the weekend passes. ______________________________ _ I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and The Grapes of Wrath in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. ______________________________ _ I can hurl a golf club at small moving objects with swat team precision. I sleep once a week whether I need it or not and when I do sleep it's in a chair. ______________________________ _ While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. ______________________________ _ I balance, I dodge, I bob, I weave, and my bills are paid on time. ______________________________ _ Years ago I found out the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down... With all these talents, I have not yet been a Politician... ______________________________ _