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Feb 5, 2007

2 days ago

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It was at this point I believe God started drawing me to Himself. As I laid awake one night I was thinking about my life. I was a computer science major and would make a lot of money when I graduated. I thought: so what, that won't make me happy or fulfill me. It was then that I realized my life had no meaning, no purpose and no direction. Right then God spoke to me in my inner being. He said: Darryl, if you get to know me, I will give your life meaning, purpose and direction. I inquired about going to church. I asked my roommate what church he went to and he said the Catholic church. I thought to myself I couldn't go there since I was Protestant. I wasn't sure where to turn but God had it all planned out. He arranged a divine appointment in the near future. Down the hall lived a guy named Dean who I didn't know was a Christian and never met, but I noticed there was something different about him, different than anyone else. He seemed to have a purpose, confidence and peace about him. I was never really exposed to true Christianity and for the most part was clueless as to their existence. I used to see Billy Graham on TV and would shake my head in disbelief and say to myself; what is wrong with that guy? He is so out of step with society. He is clueless as to what is going on. Little did I know Billy Graham wasn't the clueless one, I was the one who was clueless. And I thought I was so smart, so perceptive that nothing escaped my notice. As arrogant as I was, God still loved me and was drawing me to Himself.

It wasn't long after that, that one night I was writing an English paper. After about an hour and a half of getting nowhere, I got out of my chair in frustration, walked out of my dorm room, down the hall and into the study lounge that I never went into before. In there was the Christian guy named Dean with his Bible. This was the Lords divine appointment. Dean was also writing a paper with Biblical references in it. We were talking about the concept of Good. Being a product of my secular education and consequently believing in everything is relative, I said Who is to say what is good? What is good to one man, may not be good to another. But he said God is the One who says what is good. It was the first time I heard it put that way. That there is a good that stands for all men. That there is a right and wrong for everyone. That there is a standard of good to live by. Of course I had many, many more questions after this - 7 hours worth of questions! And not just any questions, but deep, bizarre, and outlandish ones I really wanted to know; which to this day I don't know how he answered them. Questions like: What about the 4th dimension, the lost city of Atlantis, Black Holes, and pygmies in Africa who never heard? But as he told me about Jesus and Him dying on the cross for my sins, the Holy Spirit came in like a flood and changed me. I became born again by the power of the Holy Spirit. I even noticed I was thinking differently. I thought Dean was playing some kind of psychological trick on me and it would be over soon, but thank God it wasn't a trick and it didn't end. God gave me new eyes to see, spiritual eyes to see my lost condition. As it says in John 9:25 I once was blind but now I see.

Most of all, I was extremely convicted of my sin, although I don't remember him saying much about it. Before hearing the Gospel, I believed man was basically good(Jesus and the Bible says NO ONE is good), but now I felt like scum, a sinner to the core of my being; and the Holy Spirit made it crystal clear to me my need for Jesus and for Him to cleanse me and forgive me of my sins. The Bible says in Rom 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Also in 1 Tim 1 :15 it says ...Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. This Gospel he preached sounded so simple, too simple in fact. I thought the truth was some deep, complex concept, but God made it all so simple in the Gospel. I had found the Absolute Truth (in reality the truth, being Jesus, found me) and I was incredibly excited, bursting with Holy Spirit energy wanting to share the truth of Jesus with everyone (John 14:6 Jesus answered, I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. I thought everyone wanted to know the truth as bad as I did. I soon found out this wasn't the case. But it didn't stop my zeal. All I wanted to do was talk about Jesus, nothing else. Also, Jesus took away my shyness and insecurity. I felt good about myself and loved who God had made me to be. I was born from above with new life. For the first time in my life I felt ALIVE. The Bible says ...In Him (Jesus) was life, and that life was the light of men - John 1:4. Life became alive. This was true life! I once was dead, hopeless and lethargic, but now that God has made me born again everything changed. Before God, I was merely existing. But now I am living with Jesus's life in me. I am born from above, in God's family and going to heaven. As Jesus said in John 3:3... I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again. ??????????¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶??????? ???????1¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶???? ??????¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶??? ?????o¶¶¶¶¶¶¶$???????ø¶¶¶¶¶¶?? ?????¶¶¶¶¶¶?????????????ø¶¶¶¶? ????¶¶¶¶¶¶???????????????o¶¶¶? ???¶¶¶¶¶¶¢????????????????$¶¶? ???¶¶¶¶¶ø?ø¶$¶¶¶ø?????????1¶¶1 ??o¶¶¶¶¶?1o¶¶¶¶¶???1¶¶ø¢o$?¶¶¶ ??¶¶¶¶¶?????7o71???¶¶øø$1?¶¶¶ø ?$¶¶¶¶¶o???????????¶?¢¶¶¶o¶¶¶ø 7¶¶¶¶¶1????????????$?????7¶¶¶ø ø¶¶¶¶¶7?????????1??¶?????¶¶¶¶ø ¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶??????¢¶¶¶¶7????*¶¶¶¶¶ *¶ ¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶1??¶¶¶¶¶ø¶¶ø?o¶¶¶¶¶¶¶ ¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶$¶¶??7117¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶ ¶¶¶¶¶¶¶O¶¶¶¶????????¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶ ¶¶¶¶¶¶¶7?¶¶¶¶¶oo7$¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶ ¶¶¶¶¶¶¶7??¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶ ¶¶¶¶¶¶¶?????ø¶¶¶¶¶¶¶??¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶ ¶¶¶¶¶¶O???????????????1¶¶¶¶¶¶¶ ¶¶¶¶¶??????????????????¶¶¶¶¶¶ IF U DENY ME BEFORE MAN I WILL DENY U BEFORE MY FATHER

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