its 3am, the quiet night is suddenly overtaken by a raging storm. rain drops fall like poop in a toilet bowl and thunder crashes so loud you cant hear yourself scream in horror. lightning tears down street lamps like bullies tear down nerds in junior high school. roofs are blown off of houses, cars flipped upside down, some land on fleeing kittens. a few hours pass. the storm subsides and the sun begins to show its warm face. people come out of their basements to see the damage done and they cry in disbelief. one little homosexual boy named alfred, however, finds the beauty in the chaos. he sits down by a fallen tree and sees his reflection in a dew drop on a bright green maple leaf. he smiles for a moment. then he hears his father calling, "alfred! alfred get back in the f*cking house. NOW!" he sees a stone about the size of a tennis ball just a few feet away and contemplates throwing it at his father's face. ultimately he decides not to as he figures, quite accurately, that doing so would lower his chances of getting ice cream later. and alfred LOVES ice cream.