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(1 of 7) What in the World are They Spraying? The Chemtrail Coverup

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What In The World Are They Spraying? By Michael J. Murphy (March 3, 2010)

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  (6 of 7) What In The World Are They Spraying? The Chemtrail-Geo-Engineering Coverup .mp4
  
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About BARNESSF

I hate GWB He is the worst president EVER

myspace.com/barnessf

Created by

barnessf

Latest Activity

Jan 16, 2012

Date Joined

Nov 14, 2005

About this user

As I'm sure those of you in the gay dating game know, a personal ad is usually a flight through someone's ridiculous fantasy-land version of himself. So much marketing and product placement obscures the scary fact that a seemingly good-looking and stable man is actually an unemployable fingernail-devouring racist. As a social corrective and ethnographic experiment, I present The Personal Ad of Truth. Although it doesn't present all my excellent qualities in a fair light (such as my fashion sense, my excellent phone manner), it's about time that someone represented the real deal in public. They say an informed consumer is a happy consumer. I'll let you know if I get consumed real soon.
Here's some reasons why no one should date me

I don't think a band is good unless it involves a German woman rapping to a drum machine about her vagina,or a seven-guitar orchestra playing 18 minutes of psychedelic goth rock. If you call it "noise," I call it "genius"!

I ran out of clean socks. Last week.

When I start a sentence with the word "well," I say it just like Samantha from Bewitched. It seems cute? But it's really fucking annoying.

I'm already dating someone. Part-time. We only see each other twice a month or so. Technically, I'm single, but I'm having a long-term affair. Maybe I'll marry him. Maybe we'll have an affair forever. Maybe we'll just be friends. I dunno. There's an upshot to this: three-way potential! Perhaps a love pyramid?

I am self employed. I work everyday, and lots of evenings. Just when you think you're gonna get some, I get a phone call and leave you in the sexual lurch.

I smoke constantly. It's just one cigarette after the next with me. What's worse than hanging out with the human ashtray? The fact that I'm going to quit in the near future. Which means I'll probably kick your fucking face in because of the stupid things you say. Don't be scared, It's just the withdrawl talking!

I don't drink or use drugs, so every time you do, you'll imagine me judging judging JUDGING you. Even though I could give a damn what you put in your body, after the third date you'll have convinced yourself you're just a smack-loving junkie.

I advertise as Top, but I'm really versatile. But I call myself a top because I have bottom shame. Which is odd. Hell, I'm 29. You'd think I'd be all like out loud and proud and shit by now. Is there some sort of "I'm a bottom and I love myself" t-shirt I can buy? Cuz you should probably know that I'd wear that in a quick second. To your dad's house.

If we actually become boyfriends,my animated-Ultra liberal roomate will rip your politics apart until you're crying on the floor like Trent Lott at Farrakhan's house.

Wow, it's hard to narrow it down on why you shouldn't date me. How about... because I have a roommate? Because my cat isn't declawed, and he is deeply intrigued by hot man on man action? Because I'll try to get you to have a three-way with your boss at the office Christmas party? Because your mother will like me better than she likes you because parents always love me, even though I am, to every non-parent, so apparently evil?

Age

Hometown

rio vista

Country

United States

Companies

walmart

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BARNESSF

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