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Theres nothing more addictive than a wound self inflicted!
By: Shaniqua D Wright
So many people dont understand what self abuse is and I am writing this in hopes to help you all understand. When someone hurts themselves it has nothing to do with them being EMO, WEIRD, or INSANE it has to do with a way to release there feelings. I mean yes there are better ways to do so but sometimes inflicting pain feels like the only way to help. I cut for a while in life and it truly did help personally I didnt even feel it when I did it because I was already in so much pain and thats what drove me to do it. I know that a lot of people say that when someone cuts or snaps themselves with a rubber band its not helping anything its just hurting yourself. Which I will admit is partially true but not entirely.
Let me ask you this have you ever been so upset or mad that you wanted to hurt the person who hurt you? Well its the same concept true were not hurting the one who hurt us but to us thats how it feels its like thinking maybe if I was different maybe if I did this this way or didnt do that the way I did it wouldnt of happened. Im sure that a lot of you are thinking that Im full of shit but you know what its the truth. Every time that I would cut myself I would use it to escape every time that I would feel my blood flow I felt relieved about everything that happened to make me want to do it in the first place. People say that we are all sick and twisted people for doing what we do but the truth is its the way we know how to deal with life itself.
But in this its not only cutting or snapping that happens sometimes its worse sometimes its something that you will never come back from! I have seen many people try to kill themselves because life is to hard for them they just fell so far that they want to let go. I personally have tried to kill myself at least 7 times since I was young but I havent ever had success. People have called me a pussy and a chicken because of this and its not true people who say things like that dont understand what its like to be like us they just dont understand why we are the way we are.
Tell me how would you feel if you were raped for 6 years and abused for longer explain to me how you would cope being told that everything is your fault and having people say that you are alone because nobody likes you and they never have! How would you feel if I was to tell you that your mother didnt want you after 3 weeks of age or that your grandfather left when you were a little girl because you made him angry all the time how would you deal. I am not trying to give excuses for why we do what we do all I am trying to do is let you know how some of us have lived since we were children. Yea sometimes we make it through and change ourselves and break away from the hate and the pain but sometimes we dont get so lucky.
I think that if some of you could at least take the time to understand us and maybe even try to help that would be great but I know that most of you will still see us the same way as you always have and its bullshit but I guess ignorance is bliss right? Well I have said what I need to say and I hope that it helps not only the people who dont understand but the people like me to know that you are not alone. Thank you for taking the time to read this!
Age
24
Country
Japan
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