Ninja of the Net

I am the terror that flaps in the night,

I am the onions that stink in your eyes,
I am the switch that derails your train,
I am the jailer who throws away the keys,
I am the surprise in your cereal box,
I am the chill that runs up your spine,
I am the winged scourge that pecks at your nightmare,
I am the smoke that smokes smoked oysters,
I am the low point on your sine wave,
I am the grade curves that gives you an "F",
I am the fast food that comes back to haunt you,
I am the water balloon that lands right on your head,
I am the plot twist in the second reel,
I am the meter on the cab of justice,
I am the flea you cannot flick,
I am the cholesterol that clogs your arteries,
I am the slug that slimes your begonias,
I am the editor that leaves you on the cutting room floor,
I am the clock cleaner who will ring your chime,
I am the hero that every culture in every world needs,
I am the bubble gum that clings to your shoe,
I am the wrong number that wakes you at 3 am,
I am the rhinestone on a jumpsuit of justice,
I am the stain that can't be rubbed out,
I am the batteries that aren't included,
I am the moth that seeks your porch light,
I am the blown fuse that blacks you out,
I am the ham radio operator that scrambles your reception,
I am the burned out bulb you cannot reach,
I am the ten dollars service charge on all returned checks,
I am the widget missing from the easy to assemble swing set,
I am the ingrown toenail on the foot of crime,
I am the zit that forms when you got a really big date,
I am the itch you cannot reach,
I am the repairman who tells you your warranty has run out,
I am the weirdo that sits next to you on the bus,
I am the ingrown toenail in "paddy pumps?",
I am the fingernail that scraps the chalkboard of your soul,
I am the spinach that sticks to your teeth,
I am the weed whacker in the garden of evil,
I am the check that overdraws your account,
I am the pebble in the shoe of ignominy,
I am the pencil that breaks from signing too many autographs,
I am the single career man all women want to date,

I am ....

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