Oh look you're reading my profile....

PΣΘPŁΣ CHΛИGΣ
THιИGS GΘ ШЯΘИG
STuFF HΛPPΣИS
BUT ŁιFΣ GΘΣS ΘИ

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
☻Herm Albright

Gσt A Prσblεm...Sσlνε It!
Lσst?...Gεt Fσund!
Cαn't Stαnd Mε...Sit Dσωn!
Lσvε Mε?...Grεαt!
Hαtε Mε?...Eνεn Bεttεr!
Think Im stupid...try Mε!
Think Im Uglч...Wεll, Dσn't Lσσк At Mε!
Dσn't Likε Mч Stчlε...Dσn't Lιкє Yσurѕ!
Dσn't Knσw Mε... Dσn't Judge Mε!
Think Yσu Knσw Mε...Yσu Hαvε Nσ Idεα!
ßøre∂?...†alk †ø Mε

About me:

This quasi-profile of mine is full of factualness and facetiousness. The factual information is true. The facetious "information" is humorous and/or not true or maybe something else. It changes all the time, at my whim. In any event, it is all rather silly. Rather very silly. So proceed with caution if you are silly enough to be wary of silliness.

I like to take long, lazy walks in tiny, cramped parks. I enjoy grilling some porkchops...who just took my parking space. Expending long sighs while staring into my sweetie's big, beautiful...locked windows. Running through the clover...as soon as I hear the sirens approaching. Sending her a Valentine's card...from cell block 7G.

I'm exceedingly rich - in mesmerizing ideas.

I'm emotionally unavailable even to myself.

I am shy, analytical, inquisitiv and a loyal friend.

And also... creative, dorky (actually nerdy), independent, mathematically inclined, verbally inclined, introverted, romantic, scientific and well-mannered (can't we all just get along...please?).

I am on an unending quest to show people how great I am.

I suppose you could label me as a "Jack of all trades, master of none", an intellectual generalist, a professional dilettante, a trivia maven. Several other words or phrases that mean the same exact thing. I know a little-to-much (or a little too much?) about many things, but I'm not a master of anything, really. The closest I come to that would be in Engineering and maybe philosophy astronomy & general science. However I find it hard to keep track of polytics these days.

I don't believe in "weird stuff", like UFO's/USO's, Nessie, Yeti, ESP/psychic phenomena, spirits, demons, paranormal, etc. I try to focus on real thing in life. Now excuse me while I go give Bigfoot his 10 o'clock backrub. jk ;)

I talk to myself sometimes. Important note, some people say if you talk to yourself, you are crazy. I don't buy it. Others say it is only when you answer yourself in a conversation to yourself, that is when you are crazy. I don't buy that hypothesis either. I think that it is when you give yourself the wrong answer, you should really be worried about your sanity... Oh and remember, the voices in your head are not on your side.

Now I'm over 20 so I say all this standing in my pants pulled up to my ribs, a white muscle shirt on, with a glass of iced tea in my left hand and my right, fisted hand threateningly waving in front of the monitor. I can be heard mumbling such things as, "These whizz kids with their computers, their iPads, and Wii-Wii's! All we needed was a scratch pad and some rocks. Wait till I write my MP!".

What I'm doing with my life:

Learning to defeat my addictions. One day at a time. So that I can make room for new ones! Then beat them down, too, with an unholy violence.

I like to draw random things AND get very excited over empirical data, the scientific method and Boolean logic (I mean, who doesn't, right?). Also rainbows and gamma ray bursters. Landscapes and logic. This necessitates that I spend a lot of time painting robots and recalling fond memories in alphabetical order.

Sometimes I feel like a human soul trapped inside a homo sapiens' body.

Poor, poor creature - you've gotten this far without extreme discomfort setting in, so please feel free to massage me if you would like an on-line friend, discussion/debate partner, pen-pal, fellow philosopher, kindred soul, thought sharer, an objective opinion, some toast.

Please continue reading for more of the ridiculus.

I'm good at:

Filling things out. Hoping. Sumatran rhino dancing. Applying for free stuff. De-linting a dryer. Getting frustrated. Avoiding straight answers. Appearing competent. Picking a fall guy. Spreading the blame. Thinking as if the box doesn't even exist.

Fearing phobias.

Passing as normal.

Things people notice about me:
I'm transparent. Well, translucent. My startling resemblance to several very handsome men. My overuse of absurdities?

I'm an international adventurist but dead broke. I can only afford a party balloon and I must make my own hot air.

The six things I could never do without:

In a heartfelt sense: my family, my ideals all related items/issues, friends, intellect/learning/education, books/media and hobbies.

In an abstract sense: creativity, thoughtfulness, insight, dedication, elegance and persistence.

In a spiritual sense: love, grace, redemption, my ideals, faith and hope.

In the literal sense: oxygen, DNA, food, shelter, my skeleton, a homeostatic universe.

In the subatomic particle/quantum sense: quarks, hadrons, muons, mesons, axons and the weak nuclear force.

I could easily do without these: extreme makeovers, arbitrary violence, ambivalence, dismissiveness, incompetence.

Also mean people. They suck.

I spend a lot of time thinking about:

Pensivity.

Love. Loving. Loving love. Liking loving love. And socks. ex.

How I so enjoy long walks in the moonlight, where we end up holding hands (down at the morgue, you know - they have a whole pickled hands collection down there).

Pretty flowers. And how flowers are plant's sex organs.

Good times, great food, ocean waves, dulcet tunes, setting suns, open vistas, starry skies, finest art, tender kisses, passionate embraces, burning sands, whispering winds, frosty mornings, endless summers, idle notions, poetic plights, timeless tomes, sensuous curves, hearty laughs, deepest eyes. You know, things from the Do-It-Yourself Plumber's Manual.

Fragmentary moments of satiety.

How sandals reveal too much skin for polite society, but no one notices. Sandals - like scandals that nobody c's.

How that was Zen, but this is Tao.

On a typical Friday night I am:

Wondering when the world is going to explode - or maybe just melt.

Shaking my head a lot.

Contemplating cosmological curiosities.

Wishing I were 18 again. Better yet, 7.

Thinking about flanges and planning errections.

Missing old friends.

Having a cow (often on a plate).

Sizing up my options. Then weighing them.

Counting the holes in my ceiling tiles. Then, with a start, realizing that I don't have any ceiling tiles. They're just holes.

Scanning the skies for that big, killer asteroid.

"Wishing you were here" - that is, listening to Pink Floyd.

Well that's it, you made it well done give yourself a cookie...


Finally the reason for being here:
I'm looking for wisdom, insights, great tips, expanding my knowledge, humor, good music, mind-blowing cosmic revelations, great poems, literature, art, ad infinitum. Please enlighten me.

Also...

I know that I have friends out there whom I've never met.