About this user
While some people maintain that Billy is son of God, and son of the Virgin Mary herself, the truth is otherwise. Billy was born 13 years ago, in a futuristic base camp outside of Hibernia, right next to the IHOP on 42nd Street. Billy's father, who provided us photos of his conception (see right), is a prominent freedom fighter and claims to have been abducted and inseminated by aliens on numerous occasions. Despite a handful of restraining orders and an unfortunate presence on his local registered sex offender list, Billy's father still joins us at most of the Pancake Patrol sleepovers. Billy, born William Jackelson McJimbleson, was not immediately a success. Growing up in a predominantly Jewish suburb of Chicago, Billy spent most of his younger years hiding from Jew-Covenants and fantasizing about his hot mother. Billy did not get along with other kids. While classmates played at recess, Billy entertained himself by practicing crouch jumping and evading enemy motion detectors. After a short stint at a psychiatric ward, his parents all but gave up on him... It wasn't until Billy's father walked in on him sodomizing a hobo that he knew his child was "different." Rather than confine Billy to dumpsters and freight trains his whole life, Billy's father nurtured his abilities, and vowed to one day make Billy the Masterest Chief of all. Today, Billy devotes 95% of his time to the Pancake Patrol. The remaining time he splits evenly between sleep and hobo sodomy. He was first made famous for his unprecedented five game win streak in Rumble Pit (back when Rumble Pit was ranked). He is the winningest member of the Pancake Patrol, boasting a win percentage of nearly 14%, and an average Kill-Loss spread of negative 6. Members lucky enough to meet Billy all agree: "If there's a God, Billy probably created him" Today, Billy is officially recognized as a Saint in thirteen different religions and is hailed in the Middle East as "Billy the Jew-Crusher." His entire diet consists of pancakes, donated by followers. You can find out how to donate pancakes here, and get on his good side.
Billy's Favorite Pancake Flavor:
Jew-berry
Billy's Favorite Color:
Blue (Color of Jew/Covenant Blood)
Turn-ons:
Covenant Energy Sword, animae, freight trains, batter, internment camps
Turn-offs:
Nintendo 64, soap, dual-SMG, KSI
"If you were stranded on a Desert Island, what three things would you bring?":
Two hobos and a bathtub full of lube
Favorite Quote:
"Pwn-saur noooooooob!", "It's Bed-time Bitchass!!!"
Age
28
Country
United States
Occupation
Professional Gamer
WilliamJackelsonMcJi
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