Well I lived a quiet life in the small village of Ordon, Hyrule up until recently. Those were the days in which my biggest worry was keeping those feral children under control! Good times, good times... But no. Not too long ago I was minding my own business, trying to get my horse back off that chick with the weird hair and would you guess! Some fat, green freak riding some demented boar comes out of nowhere, trashes the village, knocks me unconscious and kidnaps the little ferals! (Although I guess that was the only positive for the day).

So as you can guess I was pretty ticked off about that. I decided to follow the gutless wonder, (Bulbin I think his name was), and before I know it, I've been transformed in to a wolf and I have an imp riding on my back! She starts speaking some jibberish and laughing a lot... So it's no secret that I was pretty bloody confused at this point. I suppose the imp tops that F---ING Navi any day, though... Any ways. After a lot of pointless fart-arseing about all over Hyrule with this imp, Midna, (not to mention whooping Bulbin's arse on 4 seperate occasions ^_^), I go through an epic 4-part battle with some deformed, green-skinned FREAK, (Ganondorf?) and put the Master Sword straight through his chest! VICTORY IS MINE!!

Nowadays I've taken to bashing the crap out of random Nintendo characters on Smash Bros. Gotta love life. Although, I've noticed some pesky discolouration on the back of my left hand recently... 3 bloody triangles suddenly appeared. I'm beginning to regret killing that Ganondorf bloke... He may have been able to recommend a dermatologist >.<