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TubZeeTheEmcee uploaded a new video
(1 week ago)
"Role Model Cover (2012)"
OK. I'm going to attempt to clown myself
You can try this at home
You can be like Tub-Zee
Mic. check one, two. We...
more
"Role Model Cover (2012)"
OK. I'm going to attempt to clown myself
You can try this at home
You can be like Tub-Zee
Mic. check one, two. We recording?
Misanthropist. I'll cut your hands until they're dangling
Then offer you my CD just to prove that you couldn't handle it
I'm mangled from the heff but smoked it again
And take a massive breath till I choke on another stem
You beef with me I'ma even the score equally
Get you on Jeremy Kyle and launch missiles repeatedly
I got too drunken for Funky Mojoe
Next time I go out I'll stick to dancing like I'm Turbo ('n' Ozone!)
If I said I never did drugs
That would be a lie. Er, 2011 - you feeling me, cuz?
Cherie Blair tried to slap me with more statements
I nicked her fucking Tamiflu and fed her raw bacon (Bitch!)
I'm more patient. Lately I'm on edge
Grabbed Bacary Sagna and ripped out his blonde dreads
Every girl I ever went out with has gone les
This is How Not to Live Your Life as Don says:
Joke, tease, fake ill, toss out your balls real gleeful and stink,
Hump behind the quilt like a little beagle
I'm dumb enough for work experience in a boring placement
So I'm dumb enough to ask for a date off Corrine Mason
Some people see me in B&Q and ignore me blatant
Cause I stand out dressed in all black with an orange apron
But I don't get pissed. Y'all don't even see through the mist
Why the fuck am I working nights? I want the morning shift
I get a mean fade, bathe, go to a rave,
Drink till I'm comatose and dig myself out a hole the next day
My little soldier won't get up. How do we play?
So how me and Borat gonna hit Pam in a three-way? (Jak się masz)
Now follow me and do whatever you just see
Don't you wanna grow up to be like Tub-Zee?
I slap women and eat 'shrooms. It's lovely
Now don't you wanna grow up to be like Tub-Zee?
I took Mylee to Bang-kok in a condo
When I heard a knock on a column. Must've been Tong Po
Jumped behind the door, put him in a strong hold
Told Sloane to roundhouse him. But I got the wrong bro (E, kick him!)
My eyes won't search for this pinecone terd
I slap Garth Brooks. What's your milestone worth?
I won't obey ya. And this goes out to the mayor
And all the cabbies chasing their money: I won't pay ya!
I jack whilst caught. I'm running out the store
You can get Dan Glover to play Murtaugh but I'm raw
Jumped into a kid's film reel and stopped the build up
And beat Dora in Bob The Builder with my knob and killed her
I was kind of normal now I'm Norman Bates
I stopped calling dates cause these girls don't appreciate how I'm performing, mate
Susan, are you there? I love you
I didn't mean to make you eat that whole bag of mushrooms
Will someone please explain to my brain I suffer from disdain
And it's stayed raw and I can't hide the pain
I want to flee in my ride. Either I'm high or I'm nuts
Cause if you aint tilted this room my keys should be on the side
So when you see your hummer and speedometer has more kilometres
It's obvious your car should've been monitored
Cause when I drop my solo hits it's over with
I "stole your mama's Acura, wrecked it, then [resold her it]"
I came to the club drunk [swigging] bubbly
Don't you wanna grow up to be like Tub-Zee?
I've been with two women and got too cuddly
Now don't you wanna grow up to be like Tub-Zee?
I got genital warts from your girl. It must be
Don't you wanna grow up to be like Tub-Zee?
I tie a rope to my penis and say, 'Nudge me.'
You probably wanna grow up to be like Tub-Zee!
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TubZeeTheEmcee uploaded a new video
(3 months ago)
Produced by Pete Coe
"Monster"
I'ma monster. Nobody wants ta
Get in my way cause I'm just gonna stomp ya
I gotta long scar. I'm gonna conque...
more
Produced by Pete Coe
"Monster"
I'ma monster. Nobody wants ta
Get in my way cause I'm just gonna stomp ya
I gotta long scar. I'm gonna conquer
You think you're strong? Then I think you got it wrong, star
I'ma monster. You created me!
So how the fuck are you hating me?
I'ma monster. You created me!
So how the fuck are you hating me?
My bars are barbaric. You bastards can't hack it
You start but can't back it. I'm scarred from heart damage
My habit is to eat rappers and emcees
Ravage on the streets, savage and a beast, damaging the beats,
Beast on the beats. Beast from East of London
A beast that you really need to keep in dungeons
Gorilla on track. I'm willing to act
Like Thriller is back. I grin but I'ma killer in fact
You want the mic. but you aint got the guts (Nah)
Gimme the mic. and I'll have your guts
I'll have your guts for garters just for starters
I rupture hearts in half like cut tomatoes
Every person I meet gets served on the street
And it really did occur - it weren't in your sleep
I slap up your fellers. [I'm disturbing the peace]
And I rap a capella cause I murdered the beat
[Chorus]
I've got enough adrenaline to feel nothing from ketamine
He's gonna kick the door down so you might as well let him in
I start yamming you, dark cannibal, ask Hannibal
Centaur - half man, half animal
Cookie monster. Goody stomper
I'm the bogeyman (Boo). The bogey wants ya
I wreak havoc on you weak faggots
So for that cheap blabber I treat each bladder like sheep haggis
Carving ya then I'm asking after ya
Hardier with no heart like I suffer acardia
But it's not congenital. I've got heretical
Experience made me the eeriest monster getting you
Unconscious monster who acts obnoxious
Whose systems swamped with Courvois' and Vodka
Soft impostors crossed off the roster
I'm like a mobster in Cosa Nostra
[Chorus]
I used to be a sweet boy but I've been treated so rottenly
It's honestly besotted me and gotten me seeing monotony
Chewed up, spat out, talked about
Screwed up, dragged round the slaughterhouse
I've got a split personality and couldn't settle sides
So I put the monster in front and made Jekyll hide
And there's so much loathing
I'm not a werewolf but I wear wolf's clothing
This monster was down and hidden. It's roused and risen
When you shook my system round like galvanism
Anything you do cannot help us
You went too far with Agrippa, Magnus and Paracelsus
You're the monster - twofaced, bicephalous
Heartless, backstabber. Why F with us?
I really couldn't put it any better way so anyway
I guess that you're just like me when I say...
[Chorus]
I'm nocturnal. I move through the dark
I do my movements through Newbury Park
I'm nocturnal. I move through the dark
I do my movements through Newbury Park
I'm nocturnal. I move through the dark
I do my movements through Newbury Park
I'm nocturnal. I move through the dark
I do my movements through Newbury Park
[Chorus x2]
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TubZeeTheEmcee uploaded a new video
(7 months ago)
Produced by Pete Coe
"Miss Take"
Missy made heads turn with her curves and her strut
Mans warned him about her. They were urging him but
He w...
more
Produced by Pete Coe
"Miss Take"
Missy made heads turn with her curves and her strut
Mans warned him about her. They were urging him but
He wifed her. He thought she was a virgin, untouched
She's a chocoholic - far from allergic to nuts
He was splurging and such. He saw her as a close friend
Cause she opened up to him. But she opened up to most men
I'm mature - that's a certain perspective
In her case them two words are connected
She worked part-time as a staff in Park Crescent
The only thing that came from that was car lessons
Inactive? (Hmm). I aint gonna start guessing
But she started visiting Gym for some hard sessions
She did start stressing and the workout
Made her treat him worse now cause she felt burnout
If he didn't buy her bling how would things turn out?
He wouldn't know - he just spent his earnings on her now
(Miss Take) Is blatantly snuffing you, bruv
(Miss Take) Has played undercover and such
(Miss Take) Has made you a sucker for love
(She takes, takes, takes)
(She takes from me) Don't say I didn't warn ya
(She takes from me) That girl's a performer
(She takes from me) She takes the mick and she fooled ya
(She takes, takes, takes)
He would've bought her anything that would've gratified her
But he was doing all the spending - couldn't flash it like her
He didn't work as hard cause he was shattered by work
But even when he went hard couldn't satisfy her
Bone idle. Alone. Idler. Loner
Stars in her eyes. Wants idols to bone her
While he was giving her the moon and the stars
She wants the stars to see her ass - she wanna moon the stars
She wanna move to dudes with bios
I don't know if she wants his babies but I know she wanna cruise with Taio
She'd go through wireless codec
Somewhere under all her signed pre-owned sets is Wiley's Rolex
Give her some of this. If she's happy, bravo!
If she wanna take that get her Gary Barlow
From the school of Kiss Chase - that's all she is, mate
I warn she piss-takes. It's bait. I call her...
[Chorus]
She made him feel so jealous and insecure
He wanted to look better now the feller is in velour
But she didn't place an eye on him
He bought her a Rolex and she still didn't have time for him!
(Argh!) Wait and may I mention
He paid for everything. She didn't even pay attention
All her taking had taken its toll. She'd taken the mick quick
His cup of tea was lonely - she'd taken the biscuit!
Everything had practically worsened
Then he found out that the Gym she visited was actually a person!
Her birthday - it had gone in a flash
But he took her out on Thursday...along with the trash
She's materialistic, a delirious misfit
She has one form of beauty - her exterior is it
Don't get serious with Miss. She'll take your heart
Take you apart, take you to court and try taking half
[Chorus]
Ah man. All that Missy does is take.
I mean, the only time she takes things into account...is when it involves her sort code
You might've been with Miss Take
The only thing she gives you...is a headache
She takes her mood out on you even when you've taken her out for lunch
You know what? Next time you take her out...do it with one punch
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TubZeeTheEmcee uploaded a new video
(9 months ago)
Produced by Pete Coe
"Round In Circles (Timewastin')"
Talking round in circles. (Uh, uh)
Getting nowhere fast. (You getting nowhere)
You ca...
more
Produced by Pete Coe
"Round In Circles (Timewastin')"
Talking round in circles. (Uh, uh)
Getting nowhere fast. (You getting nowhere)
You can't make decisions. (Nah, nah)
Because you dwell on the past. (You dwell on the past)
Opportunities passed up cause he let them pass by
Now he spends his pastime dwelling on the pass times
Look to the future cause the past is the past
But he can't. He can't look past his past
His future was promising. He weren't bothered to follow it
The colleges had policies but he never acknowledged it
Good schools and colleges, football scholarships
He had all them offerings but would fall for hollow shit
He played for a club. He could score - he took shots
Now he goes to the clubs. He gives scores, he gets shots
Actions become habits and habits are character
He started puffing like an addict. That habit can damage ya
Now he's fucking with the haze - the colour sort o' browny purple
At the pub downing kernels spending pounds round in circles
He said he's gonna study but he's forcing out the verbal
When he's talking how he's sorting out referrals, he's talking round in circles
[Chorus]
Opportunities passed up cause he let them pass by
Now he spends his pastime dwelling on the pass times
Look to the future cause the past is the past
But he can't. He can't look past his past
Now the people of the past that he parred with surpassed him
It made him wanna work hard with each day that's passing
His friends had a party but he said, 'I'm only passing.'
Cause he had football training. But you couldn't put it past him
In passing comment they made remarks how,
'Football's not till seven. You got some time to pass now.'
He couldn't pass it up. He said, 'I'll only pass round.'
But he stayed the last round. By half past he's passed out
Couldn't put the glass down. Now he's way past sober
Passer-bys are past caring - look past and pass over
He tried to laugh it off. As a joke - pass it off
But the next week the same stuff from the past is starting off
[Chorus]
Opportunities passed up cause he let them pass by
Now he spends his pastime dwelling on the pass times
Look to the future cause the past is the past
But he can't. He can't look past his past
He looks into the mirror it's clearer his skin's different
Binge drinking, been sniffing. He's stiff and his limbs twitching
He's getting nowhere fast like he's running with string resistance
His funds are insufficient. Decisions got him imprisoned
Been giving ten years. Done one. He's facing nine
Now he's taking time to analyse the ways he's wasted time
Clubs: waste of time. Drugs: waste of time
Spending all day in the pub drunk: waste of time
Didn't work clockwork so he was never making time
I get shivers looking in the mirror cause his face is mine!
And he would wander quick
But he's gonna conquer it. He's onto it. He's stronger, kid and no longer is...
[Chorus]
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TubZeeTheEmcee uploaded a new video
(10 months ago)
My competency done compliment me
The content I seek with consummate ease
Is constantly weak not prominently
So consequently a consonant, please
"T...
more
My competency done compliment me
The content I seek with consummate ease
Is constantly weak not prominently
So consequently a consonant, please
"T." T is for the time I've got
To go against the clock as it goes tick tock (x2)
I'm ticking things off to the tick and the tock
I'm the tip and the top not the typical tosh
You're thinking that Mr. T isn't on top
Then your tedious teasing is teeing me off!
No doubting in me. I'll be touting them Ts
You and the clock will be counting on me
My technical tendencies trouncing on thee
I'm taking U out now it's down to a T
Countdown! This is the Countdown
You know without doubt what this be about now
Countdown! This is the Countdown
What's coming round will be better than what's out now (x2)
I want to exchange some vowels now
Let me see them lips right about now
Just pout out, make your mouth round
So Carol...gimme a rounded vowel now
(I want) "U." U is for the urgency
To go from unheard on the urban scene (x2)
You talk about me - no way you's forgiven
I gota new phrase I think you should listen:
'I'll kill you.' I no longer use 'good riddance'
Cause you know its useless using euphemisms
And you submitting cause you know with you and I
You can die. I'm usually eulogized
Uniqueness has U utilized
So next up. I just killed U tonight
[Chorus]
I pick my content so confidently
I make my options with obstinacy
I'm stomping with ease. I'm onto that, b
So consequently a consonant, please.
"B." B is for the battle I've got
The battle to be on top and the battle to beat the clock (x2)
Maybe I'm belittled but you duno what I be in
Contact all your peeps. Send a beep to their BMs
But they wana come and battle then I wouldn't wana be 'em
I believe I'm beginning to be a better type of being
I boast cause nobody has forebodings on me
And my brain's always buzzing like I'm blowing them trees
I be smarter than a bow in a tie and long sleeves
So blah! You already know what's going on, B
[Chorus]
Honest to thee I'm wanting some Es
Not what you're thinking obviously
I'll opt for some vowels approximately
In one minute. For now, consonant, please
"Z." Z's for the zest and the zealous
I wana be ze best so I aim for the zenith (x2)
You're zilch. And you can't oppose me
In a comic book your speech bubbles would show Zs
You're acting dozy. You zone out and go sleep
Like Ozzy O.Z. when he OD'd on grams and ozs
I'm one in a zillion and crazily
Insane in the brain zone acting zanily
Zip it up, zippy. You're sounding nasally
Now say to me that I didn't rip from A-Z
[Chorus]
The next letter now can resound loudly
An open vocal tract means the sound seems
Less constricted and comes out free
So Carol V, can I have a vowel, please?
"E." E's for elapsing time
Make an effort to endeavour every second that goes by (x2)
They're dissing my essence with reference to elegance
Just cause my elements never said eff at them
Then again I'm at a level ahead of 'em
(Eloquence? Eminence?) Every endeavorment!
'ell of a gentleman, very intelligent
Just like the God with head of an elephant
Double-etendre shall keep this all relevant:
'e killed it. This verse is my evidence
[Chorus]
They come around me but I'm snuffing out thee
And they won't get no cover from a rubber mouthpiece
I love to crowd please. The brother's stoutly
"Choose, please." Sorry, can I have another vowel, please?
"E." Again? Now that's double E
Like two failed papers at GCSE
"E." Again. But it won't trouble me
Ima hit this one harder with less subtleties
They're on Es but they duno what 'e on
His level is elite and 'e's been doing this with ease for eons
It's easy. I got them Es
But I don't pop Es, I don't eavesdrop, I drop with ease
'e'll leave you evanescent
Against me there's an unevenness - I got an evil essence
Either way you won't even it out now
On the eve of my evolution you each will be eager to
[Chorus]
Stop the clock! I clocked the conundrum
Within the letters but not scattered amongst them
They're lacking abundance. I'm cracking their function
Cause they spell Tub-Zee! That's the rapper from London
Unravel it, dumb-dumb. What words could you do?
Get the dictionary corner to help you through
Here's a clue: 'be', 'bet', 'tube' and the letter U
So U can bet Tub-Zee will be on youtube
I present a countdown. I asked for it
A poor version of Whiteley - I'm hardly Rich
Tell that Riley chick in the numbers round
Gime 30 seconds I can get her number down
I'm from the underground and I'm coming out now
But the date I return can't be announced now
So from now till I'm next out you can countdown
But I'm gona bounce now. So bless. I'm out now
[Chorus]
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blindin' bruv.