About this user
To describe myself would be a good idea...
Once upon a merry time there was a jelly named Kernel Atkinson who delighted in going murderous rampages with his buddy, Crapsley the teddy bear. They would go round melting ice caps with massive hair dryers and shooting random people with nail guns. But one day Crapsley's head randomly exploded and Kernel was all alone...
Kernel fell into a depressing spiral without his buddy. He would wake up every morning and shove a heroin needle into his jelly arms and pass out. He would wake up the following morning and repeat the procedure. Eventually he became so shriveled up that he had to stop.
Kernel took a step out of his dingy apartment, strode boldly out into the street, turned to walk across the road to the newsagent and was run over by a hummer.
He moral of this story is... always look left, right and left again when crossing a road and always take heroin with clean needles or you might get HIV and die.
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I'll describe myself too...
Once upon a rather flatulent day Mr Humperdink was looking into the mirror.
He had just had his 17th dose of raisin juice and was still feeling low.
He was half naked, staring into his flabby tires as he massaged some rather hairy marmalade into the flaps.
Ever since he was humiliated in the pancake house he had become a recluse, Shoving Meow meows into his eyelids and overdosing on banana skins.
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Dr. Fabbler twatt was polishing his prize wasp when the door bell rung. He sighed, placed the wasp on the VACINITY and took a stroll through the anal passage and answered the door. Nobody was there. Screaming with rage he slammed the door. This caused a severe anal rupture and the Flax Floodle Floobe mouth he was in exploded, and he died.
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Winterberry floogleberth was a pineapple from kent. Everyday he would lick the bottoms of cans he found outside poundland until he became sick and puked all over some nearby women.
One day he received a phone call from a big director from hollywood. he wanted him to play an onion in an advert for aldi's discout onion bin.
Winterberry jumped in the air with joy! He was finally getting the big time!
He rushed as far as he could to the airport and borded a plane to california.
Unfortunately the plane was late as it was atttacked by gorrilas with Water guns and he was too late too shoot the ad.
When he approached him, the director said, "why were you late?! I just lost $15 dollars because of you!"
Winterberry had a depressed look on his face as he boarded the plane home.
THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS NEVER PLAY TENNIS WITH AN ANGRY CAT
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Mr Canner, PUT YOUR FAT FLAPS AWAY!
Hometown
PoundLand
Country
United Kingdom
Occupation
1972 Calendar Inspector
Companies
What ever you do.
Schools
Guantanamo bay
Interests
Munting for soup and licking Cadfloppers
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