I am the toughest son of a bitch alive. I'm not even a human! I'm a fucking cyclops with 70 inch biceps, 200 inch thighs, a 100 inch neck, and a 35 inch dick. I am a lumberjack by trade. But I don't use an axe. I just rip the trees out of the ground with my bare hands. One time I murdered 10 men with one punch. I challenged Chuck Norris to a fight, and he died of a heart attack! I eat raw meat and shit vegetables. My favorite breakfast is a bottle of whiskey. One time I drank 100 beers straight in one sitting, and I still drove home sober. I am so manly I have to shave my eyelids. Women pay me to have sex with them. I benchpress 15,000 kilos. I have pure beef flowing through my veins. Sometimes I sleep with an IV of pure grease flowing into my arm. One time I ripped a man's spine out through his stomach just for looking at me the wrong way. Don't fuck with me, or I'll rip your guts out through your ass, wrap it around your neck, and hang you from a tree. Afterwards, I'll commit suicide just so I can go to hell and fuck you up one more time.