AEROSMITH!!!!!!!!

At night, I lay in bed....looking up at the stars....Then I think...."Where the hell's the ceiling???"

"I spilled spot remover on my dog...Now he's gone......Oh shit....."

"Writing with a broken pencil is pointless......Because a pencil without a sharp point is like a man without a d*ck......"

"When me and my bf have sex, I'm always ontop to keep him from escaping."

"I wish my homework was asexual so it could do itself."

"I wish my lawn was emo so it could cut itself."

"Never hold in your farts. Because they will travel up you intestines, through your lungs, up your spinal chord, and up to your brain, causing you to have shitty thoughts."

There were these 3 kids. They were in danger. One of them asked "What do we do?" so a fairy god mother appeared and said "Say the name of an object, an you will turn into that object, so you can ger away from trouble." The 1st kid said "LAMP!" and turned into a lamp. The 2nd kid said "SANDBOX!" and he turned into a sandbox. But the 3rd kid said "Shit." so [as you know], he turned into shit...

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all stranded on an island. Then, a magical genie appeared. "You guys get only 3 wishes," he said. "I wish for an endless supply of water," said the brunette. The genie granted her wish and said that it was somewhere in the forest. "I wish for an endless supply of food," said the redhead. The genie granted her wish and said that it was somewhere in the forest. When they both got back, they found that the genie was gone and that the blonde was sitting there with a car door. "What the hell do we need THAT for?" the redhead and brunette asked. "To roll down the window," the blonde said, "So we can cool off."

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