I was abandoned by my biological parents when i was just 3 minutes old. Left to fend for myself in the harsh wastelands of Siberia, i quickly learned the law of the jungle; no jumping in the shallow end. I quickly became fat. By the age of 4 i had learned a rudimentary form of sign language, and had been enslaved by a man called Dagger Jack. Forced to fight for my freedom as a pit fighter, i quickly became known as the "Go-for-the-groin Grabber". After a grueling endurance marathon of non-stop battles that lasted more that 11 minutes, i had won my freedom. I moved out of Dagger Jacks Academy for Pre-pubescent Pit Fighters, i turned to a life of crime. Then, i stopped, and decided to hit the open road. So if you are ever cruising down the street and you see a lonely traveller, guitar in hand, the scars of a thousand knife wounds in her back, pick her up, and maybe she'll tell you a tale of toddling in Siberia...