Profile
Name:
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Channel Views:
3,906
Joined:
Mar 25, 2008
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I'm a machine and music is my software
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I'm a machine and music is my software
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About Me:
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I enjoy dreaming that i'd have played my guitar like Paganini played the violin while wearing Handmade Italian Masks with my own music written on them. It would have been my artist fashion signiture thing. But no, i was raised by 2 retards who should never had kids in the first place. I actually wish one of them was killed before my birth so i would'nt have to deal with this hell called life. My wish was almost granted, but my mother saved my fathers life during a drug overdose, if only he had died i would'nt be in this miserable life sentence. I enjoy looking back at the odds i had and even both of my grandfather who fought in WW2 survived, why could'nt someone shoot them.
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I suffer from horrible Multiple Personality disorders along with Psychotic disorders, Manic Depression (aka bipolar disorder), i am also extremely delusional. I believe i am becomming a paranoid schizophrenic at this time, nothing is going well for me at all.
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After years of Psychotherapy which began when i was about 5, I ended up being locked up in a psych ward just like the girl in the movie "Four Minutes" (except she was in a criminal prison, i was in for being criminally insane) for a few years, i'd like to rock out with her, i think it would be perhaps the best show of talent the world has ever seen, or at least it might have been if my sub-human scumbag father helped me as a child and not destroyed me.
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I actually escaped three times, the first time wasn't actually an escape, i merely got out of the restraints in the ambulance on route to the ward, then once i arrived and was brought in i did in fact escape to the outside when i saw an opportunity by someone coming in the magnetically sealed doors, i sprinted to the door as it opened and slammed it shut on my pursuer, but those African sprinters are fast and there is simply no out running them. The third time, well, I'm outside now telling you this cool story. The lesson here is that it's the ambulance that is your best chance of immediate escape.
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This madness came about because i would talk about how i believed i could channel my own bodies energy vibration through my guitar strings that would act as a gateway and provide a means to become an Ascended Master, i would in a sense upload my consciousness into the universe and leave this physical world. Having a friend who was a brilliant mathematician who worked on stargate theory, we would talk about sci-fi ideas in theoretical concepts of consciousness. One thing lead to another, they saw suicide while i saw Ascended Master....then BAM! Straitjacket!!
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A good sci-fi analogy i can use would be a warp field, or subspace displacement field from star trek, would represent my guitar strings vibration and my consciousness is the warp drive itself. I'm very addicted to the immortal feel i get from focusing my concentration on my instrument because it's something like becoming an immortal thought or idea which in turn becomes my conscious self. To me it is like looking at myself in a mirror and seeing a transition to Immortality that i my mortal body fights to sustain.
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I seem to be at war with myself, the battle never ends!
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Hometown:
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Occupation:
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Companies:
CEO of a Multi-National Imagination
Schools:
The Net
Interests:
Drugs, Alcohol and Lingerie models like Candice Swanepoel's space age body. Candice if your reading this, e-mail me and i'll be your Close Encounter of the Seventh Kind, it'll be fun, i promise.
Movies:
The Matrix, The Thirteenth Floor, Dune, Enter the Dragon, Ghost in the Shell, Dark City, eXistenZ, Star Trek, Star Wars, 2001: A Space Odyssey, the last 4 Minutes of the movie Four Minutes & Monica Bellucci's rape scene in Irreversible
Music:
J.S.Bach, King Crimson, NIN, Jeff Beck, The Orpheus Chamber Orchestra, when i was a kid my parents took me to Russia to see their symphony orchestra's which i liked, i even enjoy good techno/trance
Books:
Any books by: Arthur C. Clarke or content like Beyond Star Trek: Physics from Alien Invasions to the End of Time...i mostly like to skim through maxim magazine
Channel Comments
By: Nine Inch Nails
it's a part of me
it's inside of me
I'm stuck in this dream
it's changing me
I am becoming
the me that you know he had some second thoughts
he's covered with scabs he is broken and sore
the me that you know he doesn't come around much
that part of me isn't here anymore
it's the nature of
of my circuitry
drowns out all i hear
no escape from this
my new conciousness
the me that you know he used to have feelings
but the blood has stopped pumping and he is left to decay
the me that you know is now made up of wires
and even when i'm right with you i'm so far away
I can try to scratch away the sound in my ears
I can see it killing away all of my bad parts
I don't want to listen, but it's all too clear
hiding backwards inside of me
I feel so unafraid
annie, hold a little tighter
I might just slip away
and goddamn this noise inside my head
it won't give up, it wants me dead
and goddamn this noise inside my head
it won't give up, it wants me dead
and goddamn this noise inside my head