About this user
My name is Dustin friends call me Devastatin D I am 21 years young. My comedy ranges from politics to whatever that can come to the top of my head!
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who shepards the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truley his brothers keeper and finder of lost children, and I will strike down upon thee with great vengence and furious anger for those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers, and you will know my name is the lord when I lay my vengence upon thee!
A Mets fan, a Braves fan, a Red Sox fan, and a Yankee fan are all climbing a mountain arguing about how loyal they are to thier team and what they would do for thier team. Upon reaching the top the Mets fan shouts This Is for the Mets! and jumps off the mountain.Next the Braves fan shouts This Is for ATL and jumps off.Next the Red Sox fan screams at the top of his lungs and says This Is for everyone and pushes the Yankee fan off the mountain!
What's up with NBA players and the nipple after they make a good play why they gotta show that?
Football Is a game of 22 big, strong players running around for 3 1/2 hours while the 60,000 fat ass Americans who sit In the stands that need the exercise watch them!
Q.) What Is a Cowboy's cheerleader favorite color? A.)Yeller!
A guy takes his girlfriend to a football game for the first time, after the game he asks her how she liked the game. Oh I really liked It the girl says, but I couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents Suprised the guy asks What do u mean The girl replies all they were screaming was get the quarterback, get the quarterback!
Q.)What's about 6 inches long and produces a white, sticky substance when rubbed back in forth in and out?
A.)A toothbrush u pervs!
Q.)What's the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and Bush?
A.)Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Dubya doesn't know the difference!
It's so cold in NY these days Bernie Madoff had his hands in his own pockets!
The economy Is getting so bad Americans have started working at Wal-Mart again!
The economy Is so bad that when Bill and Hillary Clinton travel they have to share the same room!
Ten Reasons why Golf Is better than sex!
1.)Every hole Is well groomed and manicured!
2.)Can pick the size of your shaft!
3.)Threesomes and foursomes happen all the time!
4.)If you lose a ball you still have 2 left!
5.)The less strokes the better!
6.)Choice of wood aluminum or graphite!
7.)Can clean balls at every hole!
8.)If you're good you can turn pro and do it full time!
9.)Lessons are available!
10.)Choice of public or private courses!
I love the Boston Red Sox grew up watching them the 09 banner will fly In Fenway, The Celtics and the Big 3, Boston Bruins, and the Virginia Cavaliers, kind of pissed when the Patriots cheated, so I DISOWN them now. I mean they were the best team in the NFL and they had to go and cheat. I also like the Buccaneers so thats who I root for now, Gruden just got fired though which really sucks!I am so glad Bush is finally getting out of Washington, bring in Obama.
It is finally time for change in this country! Yeah people say he is the first black president ever but shit to me Clinton was the first black president, think about he smoked weed, he played the saxaphone, and he went out with ugly white women(LOL)! I want to be a standup comedian someday i just got to get all my bits together!
A lot of people I talked to during November all they talked about was I don't know who to vote for? If u don't know who to vote for by then u shouldn't be allowed to vote.
It's like going into a Starbucks and not knowing what to get, Let's see do I want a soy late or just a black coffee, If u get the coffee u can also get a side cup of milk with Bristol Palin's breast milk in it. (LOL)Once Bush is gone what are comedians like me going to do all America is losing is the comedy buisness when Bush leaves!
I talk alot about politics Gas Prices I mean they should have a Big-Screen T.V. at every gas station in America and show a porno so It can show two people getting screwed at the same time! I hate Bill O'Reiley I can not stand the guy just saying the name makes me cringe!He belives In controlling America even more(Like it's not controlled enough).
Funniest Jeff Spicoli Lines from Fast Times at Ridgemont High
1.) This Is U.S. History I see the globe right there!
2.) Hey their's no birthday party for me In here!
3.)You Dick!
4.) Ha- Ha those guys are fags!
5.)Learning about Cuba having some food!
Favorite actors and actresses, Robert DeNiro, Samuel L. Jackson, Al Pacino,Kevin Costner, Mark Wahlberg, Adam Sandler,John Travolta, Julia Roberts
Age
22
Hometown
Lynchburg VA
Country
United States
Occupation
Comedian, trying to get in the music game!
Interests
Talking about politics,Collecting baseball cards, playing baseball, hanging out with friends. Watching baseball especially the Sox, love watching the Skankees lose. Going to UVA Football and Basketball games.
