When i first joined youtube in 09' it was a whole new challenge and experiment for me. To try new things and not be judged if it didn't work. I didn't have tutorials back then and i learnt everything by my self. I'd make a video every day and i wouldn't care about who saw it or liked it because i was so happy that i was learning new things. Now, i can't even make one in a month. Youtubes changed ALOT for me. I no longer can go on and speak to people, i use to talk on youtube all day now i'm lucky if i get a 'Hey' once a month. I feel pressure and a sense of people trying to compete. Youtube is no longer a friendly environment for me, i'm stuck in the way of 2009-2010. Maybe it's just me just growing up but i don't want to upload. I feel ignored constantly i feel like i'm surrounded by loads but no one can hear me scream. Youtube was were i came BECAUSE people heard me, because they'd talk to me and be my friend. Now it's all about who can make the 'flashiest' video. I never thought at this moment i'd be closing something that meant so much to me. However i'm not. i can't do it, i've spent to many hours putting effort into this channel. my videos have been put on private and my channel is kinda on lock down. My love for editing is not gone, it will be something that i will never stop no matter what. Maybe i'll upload again soon and hopefully i will because youtube is something special to me and i'd love to have that passion back again but it's gone and i can't fake it anymore. i've been faking it for 6 months and it's getting tiring and it's showing in my videos. But thank you to the same people who comment on my videos over and over again. You guys mean the world to me, you remind me of when i joined youtube and why i fell in love with it. consider this a break. I'm not gone i'll still watch videos on this channel, you can still inbox me all you like and i'll be sure to reply.


Lots of love
- RPI x