I am a very smart fighting cock

FUNNY QUOTES!!!!!!! (below ||) \/


"Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'"

"God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny."

"Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load his shit into a truck."

"I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential."

"I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap."

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